So I just went to Port Authority on my lunch break to purchase bus tickets. I got there to find Port Authority completely closed, as well as 8th Avenue south of 42nd street. I wonder what’s up this time; probably another freaking unattended package.

I directed some confused tourists to the subway. I have done my good deed for the day.

I vow that I will not read applying to grad school, who-got-in, or check my status pages. 

So the move in has gone well though I am nowhere near unpacked and the place is not very set up. I’m waiting for Dan to get back from Europe before I do anything with the living room.

I got an early start on Sunday, planning to just wander Manhattan. I hit Fifth Avenue (tax free shopping!) because I desperately needed a belt. I also acquired a dark green shirt, because according to everyone in my office, it’s a good color for me. I haven’t heard that since 7^th grade, but apparently Neil knew what he was talking about.

I walked through Central Park to get to the Museum of Natural History – Thirty blocks is really the perfect walk – and met up with Rome. Admission to the museum + Darwin exhibit = way too expensive, but we justified it as we were doing a good deed and contributing to the advancement of science, or something. I need to dig up my Skidmore ID so I can get student discounts.

The Darwin exhibit was very detailed and quite good. The two large turtles were awake, and fighting each other! Seriously, one somehow picked the other up and slammed him into a rock. They were very cool. The live iguana was merrily asleep, but we did get to see pretty frogs. Also saw the dinosaur floor (dinosaurs are overrated!), the African mammals, and the People of Asia – I was thrilled to see many things Russian. We missed out on the Rocks & Gems (my favorite part of the museum), because it was late and neither of us had eaten.

After the museum, we went downtown to Art Bar for carbs and a few drinks. Back in Astoria, I found a café near my apartment with free wireless and the best espresso I have ever tasted. It was a productive day.

I was awoken at 1 AM, because it appears the radiator in the other bedroom hisses obnoxiously when the heat is on. The whole place reminds me of my grandmother’s house in Fair Lawn, right down to the 1970s tile pattern in the bathroom. The apartment and the neighborhood are very different from my area of Jersey City and that is a good thing.

And the commute this morning was far more pleasant that the PATH. Thirty minutes, door-to-door and I get a seat.  

It’s a bit odd to go about my commute, knowing that I am in the last days of having to take the PATH.

I’ve only lived in Jersey City for 6 months, not enough time to form a long-lasting bond with the place, but I’m attached, in little ways. Saturday afternoon, I needed a few groceries. Normally, I go to Shop-Rite, because they have better prices and better food, but I just didn’t feel like making that particular trek. I went to A&P, in the opposite direction, where the aisles are blissfully un-crowded.

It was gorgeous on Saturday, so much so that I had the first line of a Sophie B. Hawkins song in my head “It feels like springtime, on this February morning” even though it’s still January. New York City is so close that from here it looks like a toy. The view can’t properly be called a skyline, because it fills the onlooker’s field of vision.

I cut through the parking lot of Target, but up 14^th Street, traffic exits the Holland Tunnel before the merge onto 78. Rundown, empty buildings border the non-pedestrian side of the street, in sharp contrast to the luxury high rises of Newport. There is still much evidence of the old Jersey City in the lots that haven’t yet been developed. This was mostly useless waterfront until about twenty years ago.

I’ve not ventured to the Journal Square area since I moved here, another place peppered with empty parking lots, but the blocks that stand between the Grove Street PATH Station and Newport mall, as well as the Van Vorst Park area, are perfectly sub-urban. 

I’m on the train to work, and my God do I need more sleep, and I’m writing this in my head, and in my head I like the rhythm of what I’m about to say.

I think I must’ve overdosed on the Sudafed yesterday, because I was all buzzing and out of it, and in retrospect, the drugs were probably hurting more than they were helping. It was a “I’m having trouble forming sentences” kind of day.

Anyway. Tuesday was supposed to be an unofficial work X-Mas Party/Celebration of the “Shock and Awe” of CK’s one year anniversary here. Almost everyone who was supposed to go skipped work, and those who made it in had long commutes home ahead of them, so it wound up being just CK and I. We of course toasted to Jersey, and  to the Libertarian Revolution.

CK has really become my favorite co-worker, and some of it really is a “It’s a Jersey thing. You wouldn’t understand.” But Tuesday was good for conversation about politics, relationships, work/school, travel, and drunken adventures. His girlfriend dislikes me immensely, because she doesn’t like her boyfriend getting along with girls, and the way this has unfolded has been very amusing. It’s very junior high-ish. Office politics are silly. Anyway, Tuesday night was one of those times when you have a conversation with someone and realize that you’ve become friends, which was nice.

I was supposed to go to The Boy’s last night, especially since there are now cats at his place, but he had to work late, and I didn’t feel well, so I went home, did laundry, and crashed. I really need to start packing up the apartment and getting ready to move, which is a hassle.

Other than that, I am simply looking forward to a four-day weekend. It doesn’t feel like Christmas; I guess I’m bombarded with all the X-Mas stuff so much everyday that I just don’t see it. I will be thankful, however, that I am not working at B&N café.

At this time last year I was taking my Modern Political Thought final. Literally.

I have a bad cold and medicine isn’t helping enough and I took A LOT of Benadryll last night so I am all groggy. Me on Benadryll is similar to me drunk; I babble and then I pass out. When I am sick I get inexplicable cravings for Burger King hamburgers. It’s odd.

I am ignoring the dress code and wearing jeans, because no one will yell at me for wearing jeans when probably a quarter of the office will be out today. It seems many people aren’t even bothering to TRY to come in. I know it would be a giant pain in the ass for many, but if one of my co-workers can heroically walk from 186th Street, the people in Queens can indeed get their asses to MetroNorth.

CK just sauntered into work — on time for once — and raised his fist in a show of Jersey solidarity. We wished each other a Happy Transit Strike; “man, I know this must suck for most New Yorkers, but if you’re from Jersey, it feels like a Holiday!”

I was coming in from Bloomfield this morning, and my train to Penn Station was late. Penn Station was a mess, and there were swarms of people on the street. And then I hit Times Square and it was like ‘Where did all the people go?’ I think a lot of people stayed home, maybe, or are just late, because the streets seemed pretty quiet north of Times Square. It could stand to be a few degrees warmer and I wish I didn’t have a cold, but it is indeed a very Happy Transit Strike.

CK and I are both ridiculously smug about our unaffected commutes, because there is much bitching and moaning at the office. Even if NJ Transit were to strike, there’s private competition in Jersey and still would be ways of getting to work. Jersey is the best. NYC liberalism + common sense conservatism. I am so, so sad that I am going to be moving out of JC.

It’s the day that all December applications are due, and all of mine are officially in. I do have to offer up a giant “Fuck You” to Columbia University for their asinine policy of not holding themselves responsible for a huge problem with their online application that froze the recommendation pages, so professors couldn’t upload their recommendations. (This was discovered on Monday. Their basic answer for me was “Well it should have been in already” I am ALL for sending things in early, but if the deadline is December 15, submitting something on the 12th is perfectly acceptable. They didn’t do anything to inform applicants that the system wasn’t working, nor are they accepting documents that get their late as a result. When I checked this mornign, the problem still hadn’t been fixed. (This has apparently been a problem since last Wednesday. I found out about it on Monday. This is plenty of time for them to have informed people to send things by regular mail) So, fuck you Columbia. You should be using Embark like ALL THE OTHER SCHOOLS USE FOR ONLINE APPLICATIONS BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS.

Grrrr. Anyway. The applications are in. They are out of my hands. Cross your fingers for me.

I’ve just finished Ignorance by Milan Kundera. It was a lovely little novella. What I adore about Kundera is the way in which he seamlessly blends philosophy into his narrative. He is nothing short of lyrical. He uses very little dialogue. He captures a train of thought

This guy I used to know was mildly befuddled by the way my mind worked. The way it was never quiet, keeping me away as it delved deeply into each topic is jumped to – because his mind worked so differently. So one night, when I couldn’t sleep, I just wrote down a train of thought. I used a lot of parenthesis for the asides, in many cases double sets of parenthesis. There’s no way I could explain to someone the way I think. I had to show it by writing down what I was thinking. That’s what Kundera does. There’s very little action, and even less conversation. But you understand so well what’s going on, and why the characters are doing things, because you’ve read their thoughts. This isn’t a unique device, but the way in which he wields it is so insanely…evocative. I don’t necessarily remember the characters names, or the details of the plot, but I remember the asides.

I can’t say I try to emulate him, because I was writing in a long-winded, descriptive style long before I read my first Kundera novel (The Incredible Lightness of Being, which is simply beautiful) but it’s always nice to find an author who has perfected the art of the overwrought. Kundera has also “literary zinged” me, hardcore.

Zing! (Of the Literary Variety)

I’ve already lost the hat that I so smartly purchased, and this was the wrong morning to be without a hat. I am probably going to be reduced to buying an “I ‘Heart’ NY” hat from one of the touristy vendors by my office. It will probably cost $12. Yay Midtown-Tourist District. I’m at 52^nd and 7^th, so I’m mere blocks away from Rockefeller Center and the awful, awful tree (stolen from Wayne, NJ!) and Radio City Music Hall and the area is simply teeming with stupid tourists.

I really hope the MTA goes on strike because

a) It won’t affect me

b) I enjoy chaos (which is very un-Hobbesian of me!)

c) I like the fear-mongering in the media. Especially because it is also supposed to snow on Thursday

I am drinking disgustingly bad coffee that I bought at the kiosk downstairs. However, the bad coffee is kind of growing on me, and it does its job.

Also, I am a walking Ann Taylor ad today. Except for the functional footwear.

Apartment drama continues. I go back and forth between really, really wanting to stay in my place and wanting to just move and not deal with the increased rent/lease hassle, so I am making lots of phone calls and playing with budget numbers, and being all Type-A. And Brent would make my life sooo much easier if he would get over his “I don’t want to live with a girl” nonsense.

Grad School

I have a rather long entry to write, for several reasons, but I don’t have time right now, and don’t know when the words will be there.

So Three Things. Real Quick.

Things are very decent. I am, at this time, very aware of “a year ago” and I am so, so, so thankful that anything going on now is NOTHING like that. That was so horrid.

Right now things are stable. The job is very good. I’m scared of the GREs because I am struggling with math that I haven’t looked at in 6 years, but I know the GREs will be alright. I am very aware that I will be “HERE” for about another year. And I am actually quite okay with it. I have a job that I don’t hate at all and it pays my rent. I have co-workers who amuse me, and provide a semblence of a social life for a loner like myself. I like it this way.

I still can’t believe I’m here. I’m in New York with a job and a place to live. Life is good. Drama sometimes, confusion prevelant…but still good. Some boy may not have any clue I’m alive (Grr, not this again) Meh. It’s life.

It was a fabulous, wonderful weekend marred only by the fact that I am returning to work instead of to school. I’ve been out of school for EIGHT MONTHS people, EIGHT MONTHS. Oh well, I’ll be going back at this time next year.

Laura was here visiting her brother, and though she was crunched for time, I got to see her on Thursday, which was lovely as always. We talked and talked, and went to Strand (I’m addicted), and I led her around like a blind lamb to slaughter. It’s only fair – I feel as if I’m carrying on a tradition, of sorts, as I was led around like a lamb to slaughter last summer. (Sebastian, you’re next!). I forget how much I miss her, even if she has become a liberal hippie. We hugged good-bye in the 14th Street Station and went back and forth like typical girls and made plans for my visit to Saratoga next month.

Friday at work, we were all pretty hostile because we weren’t getting a half day like everyone else on the planet, but it was quiet, and most of us were just wasting time online all day. After work I went out with some co-workers for awhile, came home, and read until Michael called.

I met up with Mike’s friend Iwho lives in SoHo. We drank beer whilst waiting for Michael to arrive and talked politics and books and made fun of Mike (who was an hour and a half late) Mike arrived and I bought a round of shots and we toasted to something, I don’t remember. Anyway, there was much merriment and I didn’t get home until 4 AM.

Saturday, Michael and I had quality time, lunch, sitting in Washington Square Park watching the NYU freshman (which I could write a book on in and of itself, it brought back so many weird memories), good-good conversation, stumbling into a table of political philosophy books, wandering aimlessly. We met up with Xina and her boy at the country music bar on the Upper East Side, and it was a fabulous time.

Sunday was recovering from Saturday’s antics

Monday, I went out to Rockaway Beach, which was lovely. It’s no Jersey Shore, but it’s okay. So I got a sunburn on the quintessential last day of summer, but it was just a really relaxing day, and I read a lot, and thought about the summer in my usual reflective way.

And now I’m back at work, and envious of those starting a new semester. Not because I miss college necessarily, but because I miss academia, and I belong in school. I was flitting around Washington Square Park, declaring “I’m enamored with this area, I want to go to school here!” but I worry about NYU’s Poli-Sci program. It’s…limited, to say the least, and while they do have a strong history department, I don’t really want a history PhD.

I am getting more and more serious about going to school in Texas. I mean, clearly I’m not quite cool enough for Manhattan, so why not go to Texas where every bar plays country music? And meet me a nice Southern Gentlemen. (To quote the favorite professor “Uck, forget about New York boys”) Although Brent was teasing that I am not graceful and refined enough to fit in down there. My take is I’ll be the vulgar Yankee girl. I’ll be a novelty. And I do know how to niche market.

I’m sitting on my balcony, looking at the skyline, thinking ‘blaaaah, I don’t want to go to work tomorrow’ and not wanting to study for the GREs, and well, I love lists, so:

What I Learned On My Summer Vacation

Or What I Learned In The Process of Job Searching, Apartment Hunting, Moving, and Other Assorted Growing Up Adventures

1) The Job Search is often a number games. Where you got your BA doesn’t matter. What you majored in matters even less. It is a matter of sending out hundreds of resumes, going on dozens on interviews, and even fewer second interviews. I am very, very lucky to have landed a job at a place I actually want to work.

2) New York is fucking hot in the summer

3) I can only like, (I mean, like, like) a guy maybe one every two-three years. I was trying to explain to a friend of mine who goes through men, well, rather frequently, that I just don’t LIKE most guys.  I get Serious-All-Consuming Crushes once every few years. And then they last and last until I either make him fall madly in love with me, or wind up getting rejected. And even after I get rejected I tend to hold on to Serious-All-Consuming-Crush until something new comes along and distracts me. Which happens maybe once every two to three years.

4) No matter how bad a day was, when you wake up the next morning and can see the sun rise over the Hudson, life is pretty damn good

5) Williamsburg and Park Slope, while “nice” are full of hipsters, which remind me too much of Hampshire students to live there. I live in Jersey City, fuck the stigma, my apartment is nicer and cheaper than anything I saw in either of those neighborhoods.

6) I have a little world for myself in Saratoga that welcomes me with open arms whenever I want to make the drive up there.

7) The cliché “sometimes it’s holding on that makes you strong. Sometimes it’s letting go,” is very true. It isn’t easy to do, but sometimes it’s the only thing you can do. Hobbes was completely right.

My best friend knows me disgustingly well. Actually, I already knew this, but I was reminded of it a lot this summer.

9) Hell is the 14th Street PATH station at three in the morning when its 100 degrees and insanely humid out. And you’re very, very drunk.

10) That I will be able to befriend random guys whereever I go because of my ability to take a shot of cheap vodka without flinching.

11) That I might actually want to go to school in Texas, because I love going to country-music bars

12) There are way too many pretty people in New York, and this makes me feel extraordinarily ugly on a regular basis

13) I discovered Strand bookstore, and I feel uneducated wandering through the history section there because there are just SO MANY books that I have not read.

14) I belong in academia. This real world this is a good experiment, a good test, if you will, a good way to make me appreciate academia, when I make a triumphant return to it’s hallowed halls in Fall 2006. I belong in academia, be it at Columbia or in Texas or Oregon or where ever and I will not let the fact that one person told me he saw me climbing the NYC  ladder affect my choices, because clearly, he had no clue who I was anyway.

15) I need to focus. Fall is for new beginnings. So here’s to a lot of GRE studying, Grad school applications, going out and being social, and reading all those books I bought.

I took the PATH to Christopher Street today. I went over to the bar where I had lunch with Mike and his friends, had a cheeseburger and a Bloody Mary (part of your complete breakfast) and then wandered aimlessly for awhile. After I’d had enough walking in the humidity, I headed up 6th Avenue. I was going to take the PATH from Ninth Street, but decided to just keep walking to 14th Street. And then I wanted coffee.

And then, coming out of the cafe, me and my clumsiness walked into some poor guy walking to to put his name on the list for a table, and I looked up to apologize and…

And then, at the corner of 11th and 6th, was Jon Stewart, waiting for a table with his wife and baby. His wife was holding the baby and talking to someone else, so I, being the plucky city girl I am (and knowing I would regret it if I didn’t) said a very casual hello. I did not gush or do anything lame, and he was very nice and polite, and thus I was polite and nice in return and didn’t do anything that might draw a crowd. I got to shake his hand. I would say something along the lines of “I will never wash this hand again” but it’s New York, in the summer, and it’s disgustingly humid and I shower at least twice a day.