I wound up leaving work early on Thursday. I woke up on Friday for just long enough to send an “I’m sick” email and then slept the rest of the day. After an incredibly lazy weekend, I woke up on Monday feeling much better AND I didn’t have to work. So I went shopping. I’m so glad that George Washington* did important stuff like beating the British, because it meant 40% off at GAP. Of course, due to my refusal to try anything on while in store, I now have to go return most of what I bought, but I am still satisfied with my indulgences.

I also spent part of Monday fretting about all I had to do when I got back to work. This, as usual, proved unnecessary because I got everything done before lunch.  There is nothing of interest on the job posts front today. It’s frustrating that the position at Coveted-Organization is still posted and it’s tempting to just send in a second application. I’m fairly sure they use an automated screening system.

It is also frustrating that Libertarian-Fellowship is still accepting applications, which means they haven’t filled their slots, which adds more WTF-ery to my rejection.

In other news, I don’t care about the Olympics.  I have also been zoning out on politics/the news in general the past week or so. Not that there was much happening since THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CAN’T FUNCTION WHEN IT SNOWS**, but I really should pay more attention, in general. Especially if I’m going to actively participate in Campaign for Liberty. Which is unlikely, but you never know .

I’m just unmotivated. I really want to write about some of the day to day-ities of work, but blogging about work in anymore detail than I already do just seems like a bad idea. It isn’t that I’m doing anything wrong or that I want to complain about my boss,*** but airing frustrations about a job that pays, and pays you well in a public forum is  a bad idea.

I know having yesterday off should make for a “short week” but the slowness of today is a bad sign.

*Presidents Day is obviously in between Lincoln & Washington’s birthday, but I believe I heard some bit of trivia somewhere that the official federal holiday is Washington’s birthday.  I have not verified this at all because I am lazy

**I am okay with the federal government not functioning

***My boss is actually pretty awesome. Still, paranoia = healthy.

I’ll share all the exciting details about that which brought The Fret on Monday. Because by then it will likely be a case of “all’s well that ends well” (I hope).

For now, I will just say:

…that even though I was at work until 8:00 PM on Friday night, waiting for Important Documents that didn’t show up…

…and even though I checked my work email about 100x today…

…and even though I got woken up by a work related phone call at an absurdly early hour…

…and even though, the past few weeks (really, since the holidays) work has been filled with crankiness…

This situation has made me once again absurdly grateful that it is taking place at my Current Job and not The-Job-That-Wasn’t.

Were the same situation playing out at The-Job-That-Wasn’t, well, first of all, I wouldn’t know how to handle it, because I wouldn’t have been given any information in the first place – I would have been expected to just do it all myself. But if this was happening at The-Job-That-Wasn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to eat or sleep this weekend, and my Former-Important-Boss definitely would NOT have been able to see any humor in the situation (because seriously? It’s Pieces of Paper that have to be signed by Important People. And we’re driving ourselves CRAZY over it. I mean, obviously there are reasons why this has to be done, but it’s not like life or death).

Instead, after being woken up at an absurdly early hour, I had coffee and did some reading. And checked my email. And then I went out for lunch and shopping and singing in my car. And tonight I broke out the Buffy DVDs (shut up) and also talked to Keithers. And yes, I checked my email about 100 times.

But I’m not afraid to walk into work on Monday morning and I won’t have to spend half the day with my head down, hiding my tears or terrified facial expressions. (Former-Important-Boss made me cry several times a week and towards the end all the stress and worry and horribleness had just built up and built up and it didn’t take much to set me off anyway.)

So although it seems strange to find gratitude in a ridiculous work situation, it’s there. Because I am capable of getting Important Documents signed, I’m having a decent weekend, and my boss isn’t going to make me cry on Monday morning.

And somehow, that never gets old.

Today has gone by quickly. The weather is somewhat dreadful (lots of rain and the wind last night was terrifying) but I don’t find it particularly dreary. What I find dreary is people moaning about the gloomy weather and how depressing it is.  Isn’t it more depressing when the weather is nice and you’re stuck inside? Actually, as an introvert I find nice weather annoying. Because then there’s all this pressure to “go out and enjoy the nice weather.” This was actually do-able when I lived in the city, because walking around Astoria was one of my favorite things to do, but now it’s just like, pressure to go drive up to local park and go for a hike. Maybe “agrophobic” would be more accuarte than “introvert.”

I am only about 10% kidding here. Maybe 15%. I don’t like the outdoors. I am not an outdoorsy person. I like concrete and steel and darting across the street against the light.

I cannot sit still and concentrate on anything. I have to be multi-tasking to get anything done. All my papers in college got done with 3 AIM windows open and probably a couple of websites for good measure.  It takes me forever to write a blog entry because I keep checking my email or going back to the drawing I was making while on hold before.  Same deal with cover letters. I find it absolutely cringeworthy to pound out paragraphs on how wonderful and uniquely qualified I am and how it applies to this particular organization, so I can only stand to write a few sentences at a time, and then I have to minimize the window because it’s just icky.

This entry has been brought to you by the newly created ‘Neurotic Jew’ tag.

Also, lately, in the moments when I’m trying to fall asleep, I find my brain running over incredibly embarassing things I’ve done over the years, including the things that I didn’t have enough sense to be embarrased about then (read: Middle School) but were horrible and I can’t believe I dressed/talked/acted like that. I have no idea why I’m thinking about these things, but they have just drifted out of my memory to torture me. Memory lane indeed.

It is already almost February and I have accomplished exactly one of my January goals. I really need to join a gym and go to the dentist. And kick my own ass.