I left work at lunchtime today because allergies are definitely a cold. I came home, took a nap, and I’m still tired.

So here’s a list, because I don’t have the ability to string together full thoughts/sentences/paragraphs:

-Apparently because nyc’ers are obsessed with and over report “suspicious packages” they now think that terrorists are planting harmless bags throughout the city in order to divert police and other city resources. I can’t say I blame the alleged terrorists.

-Last Tuesday I had a completely useless phone interview where the woman was clearly just reading down a list of questions, and I had no idea what she wanted from me, and I was cranky and definitely kind of snippy. I didn’t even bother to write a thank you note because I felt that would be even more of a waste of both of ours time. This is of course the place that emails me to schedule an in-person interview. WTF?

-Confession: I always used to cheat at monopoly

-For some reason, when I have a cold, I get cravings for Burger King cheeseburgers. I never eat Burger King. I can’t even the last time I went there. But it was the only thing I wanted to eat for lunch today. So I did.

-I would rather do 3 years of Middle School and 4 years of high school over again then relive my college years (Assuming the whole going back in time and having to relive something means you’re not allowed to change anything; you just have to relieve it.) This is prompted by seeing people’s 5 Year Reunion pictures on Facebook. I don’t want to talk about it.

Good Things

(1) I worked from home on Thursday, because it was set to snow all day, and both my bosses have the attitude “It’s way more important for you to be safe than anything that’s going on in the office.” Sadly, many bosses do not have this attitude, so I appreciate it.

(2) The power went out on Thursday night and Friday, it was still snowing and I couldn’t get to work. And I obviously couldn’t work from home, because the power was out. My boss was totally understanding.

(3) I went to family friend’s house on Friday night, for dinner. They are my parent’s best friends and I grew up with their kids, and they are basically some of the best people in the world.

(4) I flirted with a Libertarian from Canada who I have never met IRL, and probably never will, on Facebook chat last night, for the second Saturday in a row. No, I have no shame. Why do you ask?

(5) I talked to Lisa last night about anniversaries, pathetic Saturday nights, and comparing yourself to people you graduated with. There is something truly comforting about the people who know all your flaws and still love you.

Not-So-Good-Things

(1) No power.

(2) A Research Associate application I put together could have been better. Why did I not do more quantitative research in grad school?

(3) General laziness.

More details to follow. Monday I’ll likely be very busy at work, due to not being in the office on Thursday/Friday, but after that I have to write about these things, and also how Jon Bon Jovi is one of the wisest men in the world.

Win: discovering the size that you HAD to start buying a couple years ago, because nothing smaller fit, is now definitely too big
Fail: a complete inability to put on eye-liner correctly
Tie: I actually considered buying one of those fake nail kit thingies, but quickly remembered all my messy experiences with nail glue when I was younger. (My nails are too ragged and messed up to even get acrylics put on. I did this once for job interviews immediately post college and it was a mess.)

Win: Finding a power cord for my computer on line for 1/4 of the price of the official Apple Store
Fail: The fact that I manage to mutilate my power cords in the first place

Win: Getting rid of one more box of mementos/junk.
Fail: Most of it was stuff related to The Ex, stuff that I should no longer have in the first place.

Win: Michael says that if he is still in DC when (if) I move there next year, we can get an apartment together
Fail: The chances of this happening, even if we are both in the same city, are about 1 million to one.

Win: I managed to forget about work all weekend and not even check my email

Fail: I just checked my email and I have to make a travel arrangements change. I hate doing travel arrangements more than anything.

Win: I am 29 for 29 in NaBloPoMo. One more day to go
Fail: I have written nothing of substance.

Win: I managed to finish this blog entry.
Fail: It took probably 3 hours of having the window opened, and procrastinating via other things.

I’m wearing a black polo shirt with a red cardigan and the guy at the register at Express told me I was wearing the “Black Friday uniform.” (he was wearing Black and Red, and was dressed like a hipster)

I went and got yet another suiting option for the interview next week. Because I am obsessive, even though I have THREE perfectly lovely options, I am annoyed because I cannot find black pinstripes. I have black pinstripe pants, and can’t find a blazer to go with them. I was willing to start from scratch, but I haven’t been able to find anything.

I have bought more, thought more about, and written more about clothes in the past month and a half than in possibly my entire life. It’s like wanting to play dress-up.

It’s too late to take a nap, but I’m tired. I’ll be up earlyish tomorrow for an appointment, and then I’m going into the city to meet up with Michael. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been in the city in the past year and each of them has been weird.

Other Things That Are Bothering Me:

1) My interview is in a week and that is not enough time for my ragged, bitten fingernails to be improved. I know the only solution is “stop biting your nails” but I don’t even realize I’m doing it half the time. And I’ve tried the disgusting tasting nail polish, but I’m so dedicated that I still bit my nails, even when wearing it. Anyway, I know that people are judged on appearances in interviews, so I am hoping I can remember to keep my hands positioned so as to hide my fingertips as much as possible.

2) For some reason I am slightly nervous about trip logistics, even though I have been to DC via train a number of times, and I’m going down a day early, so even a delay is not the end of the world.

3) Admittedly, the city sometimes still makes me think of/miss HWSNBN. He was the one who introduced me to the city, for real, and I never would have moved there if it weren’t for him, and even though it has been years, sometimes it still hits me when I’m taking the PATH in.

4) I am going through the West Wing WAY TOO FAST. Ok, it’s really good, so I’ll probably want to re-watch the whole thing anyway, right? And I’ll want to watch all the commentaries/extras?

-Does it count as a legit post if I just admit I’m posting so I don’t miss a day of NaBloPoMo?

-”PoMo” automatically makes me think of Post-Modernists, as it relates to political theorists. I don’t think I am a fan of anyone post-modern. Not that these labels have much meaning anymore, but ew, third level theorizing. Also, critical theory gives me hives, especially anything having to do with identity politics.

-I had coffee with Joe yesterday. He gave me lots of career esque advice that made me feel overwhelmed and like a total slacker.

-I watched West Wing DVDs for about 8 hours yesterday. Today, technically, since I didn’t go to bed until 5am as a result.

-I am recopying a bunch of old class/reading notes from college to keep my mind occupied with something that isn’t obsessing over the Libertarian Fellowship.

-I bought a belt last week because the outfit with which it was pictured on the website gave me an idea on how to wear it – and now I don’t remember it -typical.

The lovely Laura from Tidbits From My Mind gave me an award. Laura’s kitty has been sick lately, but is back from the vet and on the road to recovery. But if you can spare a good thought for her and the kitty that would be nice. As she says, there are always going to be people who think “It’s just a cat” but most people who have pets know that it is never “just” a cat.

First, I pass the award to

Charlotte at The Butterfly Rush  Because I love exchanging comments with her.

Stevie: In the hope that this will nudge her to update her blog.

Kim at Perfectly Cursed   

I would give this award to Ryan of 365 Days of People, but this is a pretty girly-looking Blogger Award (aren’t they all? And aren’t girls the only ones who pass these back and forth because we can’t feel good about our blogs until we have some tags and awards under our belts?) and I don’t know if he would appreciate it, but I feel like saying that I love his blog and it makes me laugh on a daily basis.

And now Seven Random Things

1) I read Mormon Mommy Blogs. It’s like a car accident. I can’t look away.

2) If I am by myself (or around VERY close friends) this is how I eat pizza:  First slice – eat like a normal person. Second slice – a few bites like a normal person. Then remove all cheese and eat. Third slice (because without cheese, pizza isn’t very filling) Remove all cheese. Eat.

3) I am like a 14 year old when it comes to TV-show romances. Do you know how much I want Elliot & Olivia on Law & Order SVU to hook up? It’s unhealthy.

4) Currently, my right eye is twitching. I’ve been told this has to do with potassium deficiency and that I should eat a banana, but I HATE bananas. The texture is gross. (Pauses to allow for requisite comments about bananas). I do like banana milkshakes though, so maybe I should make one of those, because I need the potassium, obviously. And the ice cream.

5) I used to be a fairly bad dresser. Now I am just a boring dresser. All my clothes are from NY&CO and Old Navy. I have the same cardigan in 6 colors, the same button down in 6 colors, etc, etc.

6) I have permanent braces on the back on my bottom teeth. I’ve had it for more than 10 years but it’s been annoying me out of nowhere recently

7) I collect Mead 5 Star Notebooks and nice pens that I will never use, because I am “saving” them. For what, I don’t know.

It’s a Monday, and because of a nap I took yesterday afternoon, I didn’t fall asleep until past 2:30 last night. It isn’t so bad now, but it will hurt at 3:30. 

Some general things: 

1) The temp job is pretty good. My supervisor is nice. 

2) Annoyances: My login for the temp agency website won’t work, so I can’t enter my hours, so my paycheck is going to be late this week….GRRR. I don’t need the money right away, but it’s still annoying, because I’m doing to have to call a bunch of people today to get it solved. 

3) Speaking of calling people; I have done things at my job that paralyzed me with fear at my old job. Such as MAKING PHONE CALLS. And sending out multiple emails asking questions/making requests of people, without sweating every word and freaking out and taking an hour to write/send a simple email. 

4) Annoyance: I have to call my insurance company about multiple things today. Yeah. My ER bill finally showed up in full. Ug, I just want to pay the whole thing off and have it disappear. I can’t right now, because I don’t have enough money in my account, especially because I have to pay for the paralegal classes I signed up for.

5) I refuse to let myself get too stressed or panicked over this job. I just can’t let it. This is not going to turn into what The-Job-That-Wasn’t was like. No matter what happens, it cannot be as bad as that. 

6) I am going to DC on Friday. I am looking forward to it.

7) I still get pangs where I miss things pre-Chicago-trip, but mostly, I’m okay. Mostly.

Annoyance: I still haven’t figured out what’s going on with my stupid security deposit from the apartment. Also, I either need to sell the remainder of my NYSC membership, or force them to transfer my home gym to Jersey, which they are making difficult to do, etc.

9) I’m not sure. I didn’t want to end on a negative note, because it was a good past week. But I’m tired this morning, and the day in front of me seems very long.

10) “I will get through this day. I will get through this day. I will get through this day.”

Considering I don’t care about football in the lease, I am way too happy that the Giants won the super bowl.

1)       They are technically the NEW JERSEY Giants. They play in New Jersey

2)       They beat Boston. I HATE  all things Boston

3)       They were the underdogs. I am a sucker for the underdog, because I am such a girl.

-”Fear the bridges and stay inside”
-caffeine, and how it is needed (“coffee is delicious and should be free, like water”)
-complaints about my boss
-random O-Town/FLOW news/stories (‘safe houses’/scamming the VMS nurse/petty gossip about people we didn’t like)
-political babble (hence the email label ‘Politics…and Everything Else’)
-stories about idiotic people we encounter on elevators/trains/delis etc
-”is not being allowed to take lunch a good reason to quit a job?”/”how long do you have to work to collect unemployment?”
-weather phenomenon = terrorists!
-Kevin listened to “The Art of War” on tape and BD Wong (from SVU) was the reader
-Jersey pride!
-not trusting people who play tennis
-cereal
-steam is hot. much like the desert. terrorists live in the desert. steam is a weapon for terrorists
-game shows, and how the people on the Price is Right are naive about capitalism
-soup ($7) and other midtown lunch outrages
-why isn’t it 5 PM yet?

1) Christopher Meloni-as-Elliot-Stabler. I never watched X-Files but now I understand the Mulder/Scully shipper-ness. Because I am SO an Elliot and Olivia ‘shipper. I am probably way too old for that, but I’m also trapped at UChicago and everyone at the nerdery needs a guilty pleasure.

2) JBJ. Because I can’t be a proper Jersey girl without acknowledging JBJ. In my bedroom at my parents house, there is still a giant JBJ poster, in which he looks particularly hot. I also like that poster because of the inclusion of roses, which I take as a reference to the song “Bed of Roses” a song that I adore, and a song which the Ex, who also liked JBJ, did not like, so I had to be all alone in my adoration of this song. Actually, there’s a line in there that I’ve always used in reference to decathlon. (…but I laughed so hard I think I cried) It was in regards to April 20, 2001. I am still in contact with 50% of the people who were in that room, and wow, that was non-sequitor. Also, I am on the record for admitting I’d marry Billy Joel, and being totally outraged that he’d marry someone a mere 18 months older than me, like WTF Billy Joel, I’m pretty and Jewish and a Jersey accent is similar to Long Island.
3) Jon Stewart: the thinking woman’s sex symbol. (Also, potentially a libertarian, AND he sung Allentown on his show once.)

4) I’m not telling you, its way too mockable. And $20 bucks says Brent knows what I’m referring to, because WTF life, why’d you invent someone who knows me so well?

5) Pacey Witter, circa season 3 of Dawson’s Creek. You know Pacey and Joey broke up at about the same time as my ex-ex-ex broke up with me? And so the Prom episode almost made me cry, because um, scarry-relevant-lines?  Oy vey, SO MUCH DRAMA, that was oh-so-much a mess and clearly my identifcation with Joey Potter is very wrong. But also, we watched that episode together. Clearly, I have complex relationships with my exes.

6) Christopher Meloni-as-Elliot-Stabler. (says valuable sources “you just like angsty men.”) I blame Xina for this. She got me into SVU our last semester at college.Sunday marathons, and Tuesday girly-TV-night (Gilmore, One Tree Hill, SVU, Jon Stewart)

7) Almanzo Wilder — my first literary crush. Cleary, its the driving thing.

Hank Rearden. I still maintain that Dagny and him are an awesome literary couple. I love the scene when he’s like “its so obvious that you’ve been waiting for me.” And also the one where they go to dinner in Jersey.

9) Franscico (from Atlas Shrugged). Hello black t-shirts.

10) Christopher Meloni-as-Elliot-Stabler. Clearly, I have an obsession.

Kevin was JUDGING me for drinking Red Bull this morning. However, as you can tell from this list, my choice to drink Red Bull is flawless.

1) red bull is more convenient than coffee. i can buy a few cans and then i don’t need to leave my office when i want caffeine
2) you can gulp down a can of red bull faster than you can drink a hot cup of coffee = convenient
3) there are other energy drinks i prefer, but this is all the stupid store had
4) i don’t think its any better with sugar, but again, this is all the stupid store had. market failure!
5) i shouldn’t have to justify my choices to you! you, white male! this is yet another example of the patriarchy oppressing me!

1) Today, I got out of class, and the sky was bright blue and all the U Chicago faux-Gothic architecture looked so-so pretty against the cobalt background and I thought “This doesn’t happen much, but right now I’m so happy to be right here.” Because my class had just gone well (yay for making several relevant points) and so I felt smart. Then I had a great meeting with my precept regarding classes for next quarter, paper topics, and my thesis. It is times like this when I think I want to still do the PhD thing. We’ll see. No Plan, for now.
 
2) I officially have paper topics for my two political science classes. Guess what, I’m suckered into writing about feminism again! Favorite-Professor-From-College was right when she warned me that, as a female theorist, I’d always be pushed towards feminist theory. But unlike my defense of Marxist feminism last quarter, I’m not going to sell out on this one. I’m going to critique ‘sameness’ feminism in JS Mill through the lens of Diderot. A giant ‘fuck you’ to Judith Butler. 

3) I have pages written on my thesis! Not good pages, but things on paper nonetheless.

4) I have kind of done a 180 on my attitude about my precept since last quarter. I feel like a sell-out on that, but whatever. Today, he was talking about how he just finished reading MAPSS applications for next year and it reminded me that even though I am a PhD reject, I still completely and totally beat the admissions odds to get in to this program and so I felt smart for that too.

Other than that, I am sick, yet again and all I want to do is sleep all weekend. And this burst of good mood-ness is probably attributed to post-last-weekend-giddiness, so it is entirely possible I am only imagining my current good will towards University of Chicago. At any rate, I’m still on a good course to finish this stupid program in June, and go do something else.

…except now I’m thinking about doing a PhD program.

Whatever. As a woman, I reserve the right to change my mind.

Notes To Self

-incorporate the phrase “my little shrugging Atlases” (tm Stephen Colbert) into everyday speech, somewhere

-find a way to quote Atlas Shrugged in my thesis, just for the hell of it

-the chronic ear infections I’ve gotten since sophomore year of college are likely being caused by my wisdom teeth, which came in at around the same time. I currently have no dental insurance, so this will have to wait

-I have really, really realistic, but completely boring dreams. Like I used to dream my way through a full shift at B&N cafe and wake up feeling as if I’d been at work for a full 8 hours. Now I dream my way through LRS, among other things.

-I need to stop putting off buying a humidifier. My apartment is killing me.

-I’ve had the Dixie Chicks song “Not Ready to Make Nice” in my head for like a week now.

-Do I want to take a class on Terrorism OR Strategy next quarter? Or, do I REALLY want to say screw political theory and take both? Either way, I will have no Thursday or Friday classes. This will be either very good or very bad for my productivity.

-Yesterday, I had to walk to what is the last building on 53rd street before Lake Shore Drive. It was very, very, very windy and near impossible to walk. It was rather insane.

-Saratoga is, I think, getting hit by a lot of snow right now, worse than Chicago for sure. But there they actually know how to clean up snow, whereas Hyde Park is just a mess.

-Chocolate Macademian Nut coffee, while an outrage to coffee, is rather delicious

-I’ve been craving a bagel for weeks now. Today I finally gave in and got one. They are shaped bread here, nothing more. I am such a New York metro area snob about food.

I ran a bunch of errands for my mom today, which required navigating through various suburban locales (in my mother’s car, which is rather unwieldy) and cursing the traffic. Just as I was in the middle of an internal rage about downtown Ridgewood (which I stupidly decided to drive through after missing the turn for Glen Avenue when everyone who grew up in the FLOW area should know that you shouldn’t go through downtown Ridgewood to get to Route 17) JBJ’s “Who Says You Can’t Go Home” came on the radio.

I took it as a sign that I should appreciate Jersey things, got some chai, and then managed to merge onto 17 in the stupid, unweildy car without having heart failure. There were lots of rageful drivers and flourishing commerce.

I also had thin crust pizza for lunch. I love New Jersey.

I had set aside today to work on my thesis proposal. It is not happening.

Things I Have Done So Far This Break Instead of Writing my Thesis Proposal

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