.

I’m busy playing “hurry up and wait” with some things at work that are making me feel as if I don’t have it together and I’m not on top of things. I hate that. It is also causing me to be weirdly procrastinate-y with both stuff here and job applications stuff. Did I mention I’m tired and had nightmares about Jason Voorhees (of Friday the 13th fame) last night?

At least it’s Friday. I will try to restrain from whining/fretting about the laundry I have to do and the errands I must run and the gym I AM GOING TO GO TO DAMNIT (I have Milly now, as reinforcement). Of course, by informing you of that (alleged) restrain, I have in fact whined/fretted.

I want to see the movie Valentine’s Day, because it is supposed to be similar to Love, Actually. No one will see it with me, and I rarely go to the movie anyway, (In fact, the last thing I saw in the theaters was the Friday the 13th remake that came out last February – perhaps that’s why I have Jason Voorhees on the brain) but maybe I’ll just go by myself this weekend. Mm, movie popcorn with delicious artificial butter.

Speaking of movies, my Younger-Wiser-Sibling (who clearly has too much time on his hands. Oh to have the musicians lifestyle) started bombarding me with text messages/emails about the movie Armaggedon. Yes, the Bruce Willis movie about the giant asteroid. (I love that movie!) I have posted it below for my own entertainment. Perhaps, you too will find it funny (unlikely). More likely, you just think it is lunacy and don’t get why I am cracking up over it. If, however, it makes sense to you AND you think it’s funny, than you, are perhaps my soulmate/new best friend.

Deep Thoughts on Armaggedon (The Movie) – by Rachel’s Younger-Wiser-Sibling

I was watching armageddon and it struck me how the president of the USA was giving a speech to the entire world, and he said “I’m not the President, or the leader of a major country, but a citizen of the world”, and it was and odd thing to say given how amero-centric the response to the catastrophe was then I started thinking about how that blithe ignorance of the unilateral v. multinational split in american politics could only happen pre-9/11.

Also, the shuttles are named the Freedom and Independence — as if the asteroid is an evil threat to america — as opposed to something that is going to blow up the entire world.

It’s sort of like when Liv Tyler starts crying when they think that both shuttles blew up and everything failed — not because that means the world (her life and everyone else’s life included) is going to end in 12 hours but because that means Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis are dead.

For instance, what would Obama think about the way we responded to the asteroid, without even consulting other countries or asking the UN if it would be okay to use a nuke? I also assume that we were the only country who knew about it (aside from Russia, of course, but only because they were helping with refueling from the space station), and that they took great care to make sure that no other countries found out about that. I cannot imagine the EU being very happy to learn that the American government is hiding apocolyptic secrets from the rest of the world on the grounds that it ‘knows better’ than everyone else and all that

Also, I forgot to mention that the whole film was probably co-funded by the NASA lobby and the nuclear research/arms lobby.

The ATM is building lobby is not working. This annoys me verily. 

I am also very sneezy and in need of Claritan D, which I don’t have because you have to show your Driver’s License and sign for because its a controlled substance, or whatever the Drug Czars have classified it. These are the little regulations that people brush off as “not a big deal,” as in “I’m not doing anything wrong, so I’m not worried about the store/state/government having these records. Sure its a little inconvenient, but what’s the big deal?” but are, to me, prime examples of a way in which our personal liberty is slowly chipped away. Blah, blah, blah Libertarian Conspiracy Theory.

In my ideal world, there is no FDA (or it exists, but is very, very tiny, and you have a choice to buy things that are not FDA approved at your own risk) and every controlled or illegal substance is now legal.

This segues nicely into the “because I hold these opinions, I really, really need to get this Libertarian fellowship.”

I find out this week if I get a phone interview. I don’t know if they’ll tell me if I didn’t get it. I would hope so, but that generally does not happen. I’m going to obsessively reload my email all week.

Also, the theme of October is “spend way too much money.” Clothes. Shoes. Hair straigtener-that-actually-magically-straightens-my-hair (a feat that every hair dresser I have been to has failed to accomplish once my hair gets past chin length). Oh and the Tomato Nation/Donors Choose Challenge of course. The way to get me to open my wallet to charity is to introduce a competition aspect. Ayn Rand might even be proud!

“Well, I guess Iran is finally over, thanks to MJ”

-Kevin

Probably the thing I have overheard the most is:

“Omg, Obama is SO hot!” (or variations on that) 

-every female ages 14 and up.

But the best overheard was this; I was on the Metro, coming into DC proper from Michael’s place. There was a guy, with his two daughters, who were probably a little bit younger than me.

The two of them are babbling back and forth, mentioning aforementioned hotness of Obama (which I kind of agree on) and then somehow segueing into how Obama has a man crush on Lincoln, given all his symbolic Lincoln things from his campaign.

So the father is like “What’s a man crush?”

And one of his daughters explains.

And he considers this for a moment, before saying in  a fairly deep Southern drawl “My only man crush is on Jesus Christ!”

It was basically impossible not to laugh.

Maybe you had to be there.

Kevin: Obama’s grandma dies – sympathy landslide?

Me: that really is sad, actually, she missed seeing her grandson become president by one day.

wait, did i just admit that i think obama is going to win?

Kevin: Yes it is. And yes you did.

Go Donate.

It tugs at my cold, black heart every year. If I can be unemployed for many months and have a HUGE ER BILL, OMFG to pay, and have no job security and donate, you can too.

Is that too obnoixous a statement? Probably.

Bill C is a traitor.

Even on the daily show, when he was trying to be all pro-obama I didn’t believe him. And it’s Bill C! He’s the man who made me want to vote for Kerry for about 30 seconds! When he speaks i believe him. But i think my love affair with him is over.

http://girlsareprettyforever.blogspot.com/2008/05/presidents-gone-day.html

Kevin: McCain wants new agency to fix crisis. wow what a maverick and warshington outsider… proposing a commission and a new agency. lol

Me: mccain is a true new dealer. did you  see what i just did there?

The real reason that McCain cannot be president: 4 years of “Warshington”

Is this the first of hopefully many backlashes from the GOPs attacks on the press?

http://www.time.com/time/printout/0,8816,1839724,00.html

McCain will ditch Palin and pick a new VP “for the good of the party” and then everyone will laud him for being so maverick-y.

The Bridge to Nowhere

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26486063/

-she’s a flip flopper. Just like John Kerry!

-Bristol Palin, the 17-year-old daughter of Sarah Palin, is pregnant and will keep the baby and marry the father, a senior aide to Sen. John McCain confirmed to CNN Tuesday.

(I’m not sure that’s actually scandalous. I mean, perhaps there is a portion of the country that still find teen pregnancy scandalous, but they are probably also the same people who will laud her decision to keep the baby instead of having an abortion. McCain campaign claims that he knew, but I’m not sure about that. Actually, it’s a pretty horrible thing for a mother to do – she accepted an extremely public position, knowing that her daughter was pregnant and that a lot of attention would be focused on her. Can that count as child abuse? Yes, girl (well, girl and her boyfriend) have to take responsibility, teen pregnancy is pretty much a bad idea and such, but that doesn’t mean she deserves to have it plastered all over the news.)

-Palin’s name is listed on 2003 incorporation papers of the “Ted Stevens Excellence in Public Service, Inc.,” a 527 group that could raise unlimited funds from corporate donors.

I have a bunch of other things to say about the DNC, especially since my hero, Bill C, spoke last night. (No. I am not giving in my Libertarian decoder ring.) But it was requested by Ellie that I post this.

[insert some nonsense about Hugh Laurie and his hotness]

Me: The DNC is making me want to have Barack Obama’s babies. And i HATE babies.
Ellie: But you like baby kittens, right?
Me: Obama holding a kitten would be adorable. A stray kitten. That he rescued from the South side.
Ellie: And it would have soft paws and little pointy ears! And would teach him about the joys of limited government. Yes.
Me: And the kitten will grow to be an adorable and intelligent cat, that will photogenically prance around the White House, and lounge on that big table they use for important meetings where they decide issues of national security and stuff. And it will be vocal and meow and demand attention. And he will indulge the cat’s demand.
Ellie: And Obama will shred the Patriot Act and put it in the litter box. And the cat will be friendly-pushy, and when heads of state come to visit, it will get up in their laps and purr and knead and require petting and stroking. And the heads of state will be so overwhelmed with its cuteness that they will agree to friendship and huge trade agreements with the US.

We are NOT obama girls. We are not.

Me: I want to marry Barack Obama. That’s totally wrong.

David: How so? He’s a handsome cat

Me: He’s not a libertarian! But he’s all well educated and well spoekn and when he speaks, I swoon.

David: That’s because he’s a politician with a normal haircut, which is rare.

Me: I already posted about this, about how I really can’t give a detailed political explanation (at least one that would be acceptable to Libertarians) on why he is better than McCain, but god I want him to be prez more than McCain

David: McCain is a pruned up old warmonger. War costs a lot of money. That money has to come from somewhere. That’s enough.

Me: Oh, true. I remember at Skidmore they had up a poster “What would you do with 87$ billion for everyone to write their suggestions.

David: Hookers and blow

Me: I don’t think that costs $87 billion.

David: High class hookers and blow.

Bumper sticker:  Offended by the flag? Call 1-800-Leave-The-USA

The idiots couldn’t even be bothered to come up with a slogan that fits into the proper number of digits for a phone number. Yet another example of our failed education system, clearly.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/01/15/girl-faints-behind-bill-clinton/

Giuliani told reporters he has made 91 trips to 35 countries in five years and many governments seek him out for advice on security.

I want to know what governments asked him for advice so i can not go there.

“Hm. The longer I’m stuck in this traffic, the more likely it is that I’ll be in the tunnel when the terrorist blow it up.”

(Disclaimer: This was not an actual concern as, until someone pointed it out to me, it never occuried to me to be worried about a terrorist attack, not only because the possibility is so tiny, but because it is a situation so far out of the realm of my control that it was just never anything I actively THOUGHT about it. I roll my eyes when people freak out at things like this, especially because I have never met anyone who lives in NYC who thinks about the possibility of a regular basis.)

Anyway, despite my pre-caffeine haze of over-sleepiness I was able to restrain myself from bursting into hysterical laughter. Which is good, because then I’d have to explain to the woman next to me why she’s obviously just jealous that she can’t amuse herself.