I am stupid tired. I haven’t been sleeping well this week. Even last night, when I was quite tired, I just could not get comfortable and was awake until 2-something.  I have been a bit moody this week. And yesterday, I resorted to theatrics in order to get my way with a Customer Support Person (tactic: wait until you get a male on the phone. Pretend to cry and talk about how this is for your boss, and you screwed it up and he’s going to be MAD and please, isn’t there a way we could…?).

It worked and I was pleased with myself and that was probably the only fun thing I did all day.

This weekend, there is the county meeting of the liberty-oriented political group. I have been looking forward to this, but right now I am so tired that I can’t even think about it.  I will definitely go and it will definitely good to get out and also be around smart, motivated people who are interested in working towards similiar ends. Oh, the meeting will be 95% male. I’ve joked before that one of the reasons I’m a libertarian is for the guys. I’m only half kidding. Maybe only even a quarter kidding. I mean, I was a libertarian first, and then I found out that almost the entire movement is male.

Evidence of my sleepiness: I opened a new browser window to do…something. In the seconds it took to open I forgot what I’d opened it for.  Oh yeah; bank balance! My bonus for the 2 half of 2009 was deposited. It’s a teeny-tiny bonus (and no raise, even though I am now doing the job of 3 people) but I suppose I should insert the requisite line about being grateful that there’s any bonus in this economy. Etc.

Now I’m trying to decide if I should make an extra car payment or funnel it towards the just opened “Moving Fund.” Emergency Fund is doing quite well and will be completely funded when I get my tax refund. But I am indecisive as to what to do next. I need a solid fund for moving (apartment deposit, first month/last month rent, sundry expenses) and a car fund (insurance hike, repairs) but I’m also wondering about opening a Roth IRA. I already have a 401(k) through work, that I contribute to and my employer matches.

This is really too much thought to give to such a small amount of money, but it is unexpected money (I didn’t think the company was giving bonuses this year) and so I am pondering. Six months ago this probably wouldn’t have struck me, but I’ve gotten really into reading Personal Finance blogs.

I can go home in about 4.5 hours. It took me way longer than it should have to calculate that I can go home in 4.5 hours. I need a nap.

I went to a local meeting of Campaign for Liberty on Sunday, and it was quite good. Lots of well-thought out, long term ideas. The problem, of course, is keeping myself motivated to stay involved. I am generally not a joiner. Well, that’s not entirely true. I love being a part of things, being part of a team/community, etc (Jean-Jacques Rousseau eat your heart out) but I am rarely capable of actually becomming a part of things. This is what happens when you move seven times in as many years.

I overslept this morning. My cell phone (alarm clock) shut itself off in the middle of the night. I am overdue for a new phone, but I’ve been reluctant to give this one up. It is the only phone I’ve ever had that doesn’t suck. Since every piece of electronic equipment I touch tends to break, I don’t really want to buy a fancy phone. I don’t even have  QWERTY keypad.

Anyway, now I’m here, wearing a t-shirt (it was too hot for the sweater I put on) with a really, really scratchy sweater-jacket thing that I keep putting on and taking off. I’m browsing online for clothes I REALLY do not need. But I am a total sucker when stores put up sample outfits and then do “get this look” because I am basically incapable of putting together good outfits myself. So GAP has one now, and really Gap? $54.95 for this shirt? That’s ridiculous. But I still want the outfit. If I still had a could find my long-lost GAP credit card, I would buy it in a second. Oh and now I’m looking at Banana Republic clothes, even though I have never bought anything from that store in my life, but now I AM TEMPTED by overpriced cardigans.

These would just be more clothes I don’t need/clothes I am buying for a job/life I don’t have yet. With my luck, they will all be lost in a flood or housefire or something.

I found another good job to apply for, with SUPER AWESOME pay, that I am just barely qualified for, but the organizations website has been down and so I can’t investigate for useful information (which I am really good at. I am a good researcher. Hire me as a research associate, please). And then there’s this other job that pays pennies, but could be okay, and I really should be writing cover letters instead of, you know, daydreaming about buying outfits from Banana Republic.

I hate the Tuesday-Wednesdy part of the week. It can’t be Thursday soon enough.

Hm, I’ve blogged about the SOTU many times.

It took me two hours to get to work this morning due to the snow and people not knowing how to drive.

I think I have applied for every job in DC that I am possibly interested in, minus the government jobs, which just require an insane amount of time per application. Is it hypocritical for a libertarian to work for the federal governemnt? Possibly yes, but if I want to get to DC it may be in my self interest.

Speaking of libertarian idea(l)s, we were discussing the SOTU on The Libertarian Message Board last night. There was of course nothing surprising or new about Obama’s speech. He does not make me rageful in the ways that GWB did, but the alleged Savior of the left sure has been pretty useless. The Dems are such pussies. Anyway, my idea was I want someone to run for president on the campaign of Doing Nothing. No initiatives, no new government programs, no changes, NOTHING. Just keep the status quo and grind government action to a halt.

Of course, the logistics of the government “grinding to a halt” are a bit more complicated (but just a bit, I swear), but the theory behind stalemate is solid. People on both sides complain that lack of bi-partisanship makes it impossible to get anything done, but I’m fine with the two parties bickering their way into inaction. People on both sides also complain when their party isn’t in power in either Congress or the Presidency about the other party having an unchecked mandate. (The mandate, with which, the Dems have still been unable (unwilling) to put together a healthcare bill)

So I say we elect a bunch of underachievers with no ambition of achieving greatness. That’s where we also get in trouble. The idea that the government can give us all these wonderful things. Not only does it set you up for disappointment (which I think the Obama campaign did, for a lot of people) it makes you forget that the government shouldn’t be providing these things in the first place.  (A government big enough to give you anything, is big enough to take everything away.

I was up way too late last night, and then there was the commute from hell and I am supposed to actually be social tonight but I’m half hoping we have to postpone due to weather. Suburbia is killing my motivation.

The ATM is building lobby is not working. This annoys me verily. 

I am also very sneezy and in need of Claritan D, which I don’t have because you have to show your Driver’s License and sign for because its a controlled substance, or whatever the Drug Czars have classified it. These are the little regulations that people brush off as “not a big deal,” as in “I’m not doing anything wrong, so I’m not worried about the store/state/government having these records. Sure its a little inconvenient, but what’s the big deal?” but are, to me, prime examples of a way in which our personal liberty is slowly chipped away. Blah, blah, blah Libertarian Conspiracy Theory.

In my ideal world, there is no FDA (or it exists, but is very, very tiny, and you have a choice to buy things that are not FDA approved at your own risk) and every controlled or illegal substance is now legal.

This segues nicely into the “because I hold these opinions, I really, really need to get this Libertarian fellowship.”

I find out this week if I get a phone interview. I don’t know if they’ll tell me if I didn’t get it. I would hope so, but that generally does not happen. I’m going to obsessively reload my email all week.

Also, the theme of October is “spend way too much money.” Clothes. Shoes. Hair straigtener-that-actually-magically-straightens-my-hair (a feat that every hair dresser I have been to has failed to accomplish once my hair gets past chin length). Oh and the Tomato Nation/Donors Choose Challenge of course. The way to get me to open my wallet to charity is to introduce a competition aspect. Ayn Rand might even be proud!

Firstly, to continue the theme of “Sometimes, I am not a heartless Libertarian” this project has only one day left and needs $1500+  Having spent one horrible winter in Chicago (and it was actually quite a mild winter – I was just at U Chicago and therefore miserabe by default. Hyde Park is a horrid little place) I will feel guilty if this goes unfunded. And Jewish guilt runs deep.

So I feel obligated to tell you that you should donate, because if I don’t tell you, and it goes unfunded, I’ll feel guilty because I should have done more. It’s like that scene at the end of Schindler’s List, where he’s looking around at all the other stuff that he could have sold, so he would have more money to use as bribes and he could have saved more Jews.

Yes, exactly like that.

This tasteless comment was brought to you my The People That I’ve Known Forever post. Those three boys, Brent especially, have played a huge role in the development of my utterly tasteless sense of humor. I have very little shame, and often very little tact.

 Secondly, I had a moment this morning of “I am so grateful for my job and that I am not at The-Job-That-Wasn’t.” Due to degrees of crankiness, boredom, etc, there have been much fewer of these moments as there were at-this-time-last-year (and ATTLY, I wasn’t even officially hired yet). So it is good (for both my mood and for my ego) to stop and remind myself of how much good this job has contributed to my life.  This is the attitude I need to keep, should the Libertarian-esque fellowship not come through.

And lastly, for all my bitching about deadlines yesterday, I got an unsolicited email today from someone at Libertarian-Fellowship office to hold off submitting until Monday. I’m not sure why, but perhaps there are still technical glitches with the online application.

So now I have no choice but to indulge in another few rounds of overthinking. I believe the research I want to do is relevant and unique, and it builds on the research I did for my MA thesis. (Carl Schmitt has become popular in the past few years; with my MA thesis I was trendy for perhaps the first time in my life) But I’m still afraid that my application is one giant “So what?”

“I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents.” James Madison

Despite the fact that “political rants” were the original intention of my blog (started over six years ago) I rarely write about the subject anymore. Therefore, you should check out the latest post at The Kyle Conspiracy about the renewal of the Patriot Act. This is an unfortunate example of the ways in which the Obama Administration is no less “evil” than a McCain (or realistically, any other) administration would have been.

Being a cynical libertarian is fun most of the time! Our pessimistic outlook is usually validated by government failure!

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Do you know what’s weird? At this time last year (ATTLY) we didn’t know who the next president would be and Sarah Palin still had the potential to be legit.

I haven’t talked much about the Obama presidency, because I’m really not sure what to think of it. My opinion on healthcare is so far off from most people’s that I just keep my mouth shut. (According to my parents, I think that only rich people should get to see doctors). The CliffNotes version of my opinion is that I find the whole notion of “Health Insurance” preposterous in the first place and that it should be completely eliminated. The creation of the health insurance industry and subsequently, the malpractice insurance industry is what has driven up the cost of medical care so that a 10 minute visit to conclude you have strep throat is some $110.

Given that my preference will never happen in a million years, I’m not sure which is a better outcome to hope for. I don’t want Obama-care to fail, because if nothing else, he needs a victory of sorts to solidify his presidency. But I’m not sure which version would be the least…disturbing to my Libertarian sensibilities. Ironically (?) I think that the administration is making a huge mistake by backing down on the Public Option aspect of the plan, due to charges of socialism, etc. The Dems have the majority in the House and Senate. This is no time to be pussyfooting around. If GOPs had the majority, you better believe they’d be pushing through their agenda. (I am also leaving aside for now the fallacies in many of the arguments against the public option. At this point, I don’t believe that the public option will limit “competition” and “choice” in healthcare — at least not anymore than it already is restricted).

I fear that if something doesn’t get passed, if Something (emphasis added) doesn’t happen than the Obama Presidency will forever be marred by the fact that he failed to pass a healthcare plan.

Much as I favor complete inaction by the federal government (the better to leave me alone) on my less cynical days I’d really like to be able to buy into the idea of the potential for hope and change. 

So there’s this friend of a friend that I’ve met a couple times. Let’s call him Scott. I met him through this girl I’m acquainted with. The three of us had dinner together randomly one night. You see where this is going, right? 

I liked him immediately, not in the like-like sense, but just in the ‘he’s good people’ kind of sense. And actually, I have a hard time grasping that his name is Scott. He looks like someone else I know, and I keep thinking of him by that name instead.  Anyway, from dinner out that first night, it was very clear he has a girlfriend. 

But anyway, Scott is nice, and I ran into him on Saturday night, and we have mutual acquintences. So we were all standing around, doing the typical suburban stand around outside and  attempt to make plans, and he’s like “You don’t want to go out do you? You want to go home? ”

And he is right that normally this is my MO, to slink away home, and to get fed up as the girls stand around endlessly debating the next set of plans. 

(and he didn’t say it in a judge-y way; there was one other night when both of us were cranky that no one could seem to make plans and just gave up and went home)

But tonight, the girls weren’t around, it was just Scott and a few other guys, No ulterior motive, just wanted to go out for the sake of going out, because I am anti social as hell. 

Dinner was uneventful, good food at Blue Moon, listening to some other guy preach, and having Scott apologize to me for having to listen to it. On the ride to my house we were just talking about work and I said something about wanting to go to law school, and how it will be a lot of debt, and he said “You never know, with Obama we might all wind up being able to go to school for free.” 

And I said “That’d be nice, but I don’t go for universal education. I’m a Libertarian.” 

And

(Wait for it) 

He said “You are? So am I!” 

Head, meet desk.

“The mind of woman is a pit of snakes with accusing eyes”

(i wish i could take credit for this, but it is one of the brilliant guys from grylliade)

“The discussion is often ‘do you tax more, [or] do you spend less?’” [Rep. Laura] Brod [(R, MN)] says. “But it seems to me that there is a third option out there, and that’s reforming how government operates.”

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/01/26/government.garage.sale/

This evening we’ve just been hanging out watching TV, talking about Obama insanity. I have a kitty next to me. The plan for the rest of the day is to do little to nothing because Monday/Tuesday are going to be INSANITY. I’m going to bawl like a baby on Tuesday. My dad did wind up at the concert at the Lincoln Memorial, but was so far away that it was on major delay. 

I am so psyched about playing the crowds tomorrow. LIBERTARIANS FOR OBAMA!

I’m sitting in the Nashville airport, where my flight is delayed (as expected)

I had the absolute best time in Knoxville, and not because of anything we did, neccessarily, just because I had so much fun just hanging out with Ellie and David, watching House, talking about dorky things, and laughing over said dorky things. It’s so weird – logically, I never should have wound up on Grylliade, given that I was a sporadic, at best H&R poster. But I have made some of the best friends I could imagine making through Grylliade.

““If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.”

There was some chatter over on Grylliade about this, how even us looney Libertarians can revel in the Obama victory, not for its political, but for its historical implications. (of course there was dissent from one of the Usual Suspects, but it was ridiculous enough to be brushed aside)

I have said numerous times that the “Change we can believe in” of the Obama campaign is not my version of change. But I am so happy he won and so happy I got to witness this.

I’m ready for this to be over. I’ve been talking about this election since Election Day 2004. Maybe even a little before that. (Post with Election Day Gift I compiled for Kevin is forthcoming)

In 2004 I was already expecting Bush to win, and when Missouri was called for him (There’s some useless trivia about whichever way Missouri goes predicts the outcome of the general election.) I stopped watching the results come in.

I’m still debating what I’ll do tomorrow. If I were in a swing state I’d definitely vote Obama, but I’m not. In 2004 I was happy to vote for Badnarick – it was a combination of thinking Kerry was a tool and actually liking Badnarick.

I feel like a hypocrite if I don’t vote Libertarian, but I’m not sure I want my vote to go to Bob Barr, even symbolically.

I’m surprised that I’m so nervous about this. In 2004 I really, really did not care who won. Now I’m totally anxious and the thought of seeing McCain win makes me sick.

 I also had someone giving me the “Democrats hate America, Republicans love this country, etc etc and that’s why I’m a Republican” spiel. Grrr…I promised myself I wouldn’t let myself get angry over politics!

Kevin: Obama’s grandma dies – sympathy landslide?

Me: that really is sad, actually, she missed seeing her grandson become president by one day.

wait, did i just admit that i think obama is going to win?

Kevin: Yes it is. And yes you did.