On Tuesday evening I got the email: “We are prepared to make you the following offer.”

On Friday I had a job. Not only a job, but one that was a promotion from the one I’d originally applied for. The CEO was impressed, they said. (Please note: I now work for a very, very tiny company, one even smaller than The-Job-That-Wasn’t 2.0. But hey, it’s still a cool thing to impress a CEO enough to get you out of the assistant trap and get you into a job title that won’t make you self-conscious to hand out business cards.)

So Friday night I couldn’t stop smiling, and I made the first level of the pies for my impending dinner party, and when The Roommate got home, we just hung around, occasionally exchanging bits of commentary, and yeah, I know there’s been pseudo-drama with us that’s mostly my jack-asinine behavior that’s at fault, but it is nice that we can just “be” when we’re around each other. And then we made an amusing trip to Target Saturday morning.

Michael came over around noon on Saturday, and I had not seen him in months so it became a very fun session of cooking, reminising, catching up, babbling, and yes, lets talk about how Rachel loses her gaydar completely when a Libertarian is involved. Michael is one of the most gregarious people I know and he will engage anyone in just conversation or whatever. So while we were cooking and talking, The Roommate was putting together chairs (wins more Roommate points for engaging my dinner party that logistically was going to be a mess although a few expected people didn’t show, so it would have worked out) and I think Michael actually forced Roommate into having a good time. Which I did not know was possible. The Roommate does not have fun.

And then – successful party, I think. The food wasn’t as good as it could have been, I forgot to put out cheese with the chili, and the salad just never got made. But we all just hung around the table, and people laughed a lot, so is that a good sign of a successful gathering? I think so. Plus, it was also an impromptu celebration of my new job.

And then, I had a date, of sorts, on Sunday. This is a change from my usual mode of boy drama. This boy has told me straight out that he likes me, told me he thinks I am “beautiful and intelligent”, and held my hand in public. He made me feel adored, which made me realize – the recent boy I like-liked never made me feel like that. He was very good to me in many ways, from the pajama pants to the pancakes, (and one time, in the midst of the worst panic attack I have ever had he made sure I was safe and protected). And to him, I owe the roof over my head. I will always be incredibly grateful to whatever bizarre arrangement the roommate and I have. But I get his point now. It has been so long since I dated and I am so used to emotionally unavailable men, for whom you have to fight for an ounce of their attention. I forgot that sometimes you can just be yourself, and a boy will like you and pay attention to you.

This isn’t going anywhere yet. It hasn’t even started. But he held my hand in public, and he walked me to my doorstep and kissed me tonight, and he asked me if he could see me again soon.

And of course I said yes.

My dreams have been oracle like before, so I was thinking about that while I was getting ready.

And then I checked my email before my ride got here, and there was a “Rachel, come in for an interview” email. It had been sent at like 6:00 am, probably right around the time I was actually having the dream. How freaky is that?

I have an interview in DC in 2 weeks! And they are paying for my train fare and accomodations. And since I’ll be in DC anyway, I’m going to stay the weekend and hang out with Keithers.

So at least SOME of the shopping I’ve been doing lately has not been for naught. Now I have plenty of job-interview outfits to choose from! I am definitely straigtening my hair.  Obviously, I have my priorities in order.

Now, I’m very psyched about this, but I also need to reign in some of my excitement. This is still a LONG process. I will be interviewing with at least 6 different people at the foundation. Even if that goes really well, I will still have to interview at 4-5 of their partner organizations. And you know what? I could be FANTASTIC, and as a result of circumstances (bad economy being one of them) they may not have a placement for me at any of their partner organizations.

So I don’t want to pin all my hopes on this, even though they clearly already are.  To say nothing of all the obsessing that will go into the possibily-moving-to-DC aspect of this.

But I’m afraid that my hopes are already there.

I had the absolute best time in Knoxville, and not because of anything we did, neccessarily, just because I had so much fun just hanging out with Ellie and David, watching House, talking about dorky things, and laughing over said dorky things. It’s so weird – logically, I never should have wound up on Message Board of Note., given that I was a sporadic, at best H&R poster. But I have made some of the best friends I could imagine making through Message Board of Note.

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• I voted this morning. I was literally standing in the voting booth staring at the screen. I couldn’t hit the button for Barr. I just couldn’t do it. I voted for Obama. So some of my fellow Libertarians would say this makes me a sell out. So what?
• Jon Stewart:  ”YOUTH VOTE: DON’T FUCK IT UP FOR US. Every year we hear about how you rock the vote and every year you let us down”
• -I love how he is unabashadly pro Obama, but I think the media overhypes the youth vote.
• -McCain is just making stuff up now; he’s like “I’ll make sure energy prices don’t go up for families” Yeah, how you going to do that maverick?
• Indiana polls close early – if it really is as much as a swing state as we’ve been lead to believe, and Obama wins it…we could know REALLY early. I’m so nervous! In 2004 I knew Bush was going to win, so there was nothign to really get my hopes up about, but my hopes are so high that it might kill me. I think part of the reason I refused to get into Obama, despite him being awesome and wanting to marry him, is that because I couldn’t handle a let down if he lost. I was ridiculously angry for weeks (months?) after the 2000 election and I wasn’t even old enough to vote.
• I don’t want to hear about any voting irregularities or anything. It will anger up the blood.
• “If there has to be a screw-up, let it be somewhere else. Let some other state’s ballots go missing, its machines cough up negative numbers, its computers declare a victory for Grover Cleveland. Let the assembled media of the world descend upon Albuquerque or Des Moines.
• “But preferably, let it happen nowhere at all. We’re due for a nice, clean, undisputed election. Please.” –Howard Troxler, St. Petersburg Times (Florida)
• -I’m getting all teary eyed reading obama quotes and how psyched people are abouth im. clearly i have problems
• i am addicted to reading all the stories about the polling places having lines, and blah blah blah Change blah blah blah Hope and I totally buy into it because I am a sucker for PR and polish. I know him winning won’t really change anything but I am psyched nonetheless

okt3rrific (11:00:21 PM): nbc calls

okt3rrific (11:00:24 PM): nbc calls

It’s totally appropriate that I heard the news from Kevin first, given that he has been my source of all things Election 08′ news for the past four years.

okt3rrific (11:00:30 PM): president obama

And yes, I teared up. I’m not made of stone people.

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And to think, I almost blew off going to the temp agency because I didn’t want to drive down the Parkway.

This job is the best, best thing to happen to me in a very long time.

Friday, I met up with Michael. Michael had been staying with his boyfriend, but had broken up with him that morning. So we took a long walk through the East Village/Alphabet City, SoHo, etc. Michael suggested we stop & just chill out out in the cafe at the Whole Foods on E. Bway, and I was all snobby, like “Your’e going to come to New York and hang out in a whole foods?!?!” He was amused, laughed, and said “There’s the Rachel I know & love.” Once again, ti’s good to feel like myself again.

We walked some more and wound up at a cafe somewhere off 7th Ave on Bank Street. It was very good to catch up with Michael. He vented about his situation with his boyfriend and how he didn’t want to end things, but he couldn’t see things changing.

“Sometimes doing the right thing feels awful, but it’s better than doing the wrong thing” Those are the words Brent told me after I “ended’ things with HWSNBN, omg, back in the summer of 2004, FOUR YEARS AGO OMG I AM SO OLD.

We also talked about what I’d been venting about to Jim – how you shouldn’t have to work to get some one to like you. Relationships of all kinds take work. YOu do your best and they do their best, presumably. And if they’re not, you get the hell out.

Even though OLB was a repeat of my MO, at least I got out after 4 months instead of letting it drag — and even 4 months was pushing it.

Anyway, I saw Michael off to Port Authority — he just wanted to get home. That night, I wathced firework from the roof. Before the big Macy’s show you could see fireworks from other, smaller shows (Southport, Bronx, etc) plenty of do-it-yourself ones from nearby. I chatted with the guys on the neighboring roof, yay for meeting neighbors!

Late-late Friday night, i got a VERY interesting voicemail from HWSNBN. And then he drunk dialed me again and um…that was…interesting. He was trashed and I totally played that for all it was worth, basically taunting him with the fact that he could have had me anytime he wanted and he totally blew it. Anyway, I take the whole thing as a grain of salt, but still so entertaining. I still don’t quite get why now, since we broke up 4 years ago, but whatever, I’m not offended.

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That is all.

So my new apartment may not be in the Ditmars area of Astoria (one of my favorite place in the world, possibly…) but it’s on a good block just off of 30th Avenue, where laundry is less than a block away and the supermarket it a 3 minute walk, and the apartment is amazing. Hello, BOOK ROOM. Although, not all my books will be there immediately. I have over 2000 books. Moving books is a pain. But I am so happy to be back in Astoria.

On Thursday, I went to the monthly Astorians gathering, and saw some old faces and also got introduced to a bunch of new people, since the Astorians board has exploded in popularity since I left. What was awesome was getting several “oh, you’re back from Chicago?!?. Welcome back!” It’s such a neighborhood here. I love that I have a community to come back to.

When I was looking for apartments the first time, I didn’t have a neighborhood in mind; I simply replied to every Craigslist ad in my price range. That was when I learned that finding an apartment through the room/share section meant going on “roommate interviews” which are way worse than job interviews. It was terrible. When I had to start doing it again this time, I wanted to shoot myself. When I was 22 I could sort of tolerate it, even though almost everyone was older than me, I was used to being around college students and their drama. At 24, having worked a year in NYC, and survived my year at Chicago, I could not do it. I could not suck up to people in hopes of finding a room.

So I posted this ad in the “Housing Wanted” section of Craigslist for a roommate to apartment hunt with, basically saying “I am sick of roommate interview drama. We’ll probably annoy each other sometimes, but lets just be civil adults and find a place.”

And so I met current-roommate, who instinct says I can live with. Seriously, we sat down together, hashed things out, and we’re cool on multiple things. We found an amazing apartment together. Seriously! The place is 10 million times better than my run down apartment on the other end of Astoria. I am going to miss living in the Ditmars area, but I think this neighborhood can feel like home too.

Tonight, I am once again at my parent’s house in Jersey, unearthing my possessions from storage, because I have found permanance. I’m going to be at this apartment for quite awhile. So I can finally pull my books out of my old bookcase, bring my photo albums from under my old bed, take my old nightstand, because it won’t be needed here. I like the fact that this place has long term potential.

So tomorrow! Driving out to Astoria with my dad, with bookcases, and buying him lunch. My dad is awesome and his attitude makes me be unstressed about moving, generally. Then 3 day week (again) due to Jew holidays at work. Then getting furniture delivered, and bringing the rest of the stuff to the apartment next Thursday/Friday.

When I say I’m going to do something, I do it.

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An MA, in 9 months, just days after my 24th birthday? Means I have the whole rest of my life to do things completely unrelated to my over-educated degree!

Being done with my thesis, by the deadline for June graduation, as I wanted to all along: Priceless.

It was worth all the anti-socialness. It was worth the intimidating of the brilliant advisor. It was worth skipping class for meeting with said advisor. It was worth the mess my apartment is, buried in journal articles and books and empty cans of seltzer & energy drink (I actually took a picture of my desk last night, to capture the outrageousness)

This has been an exhilirating process of 11th hour epiphanies. I started this project feeling pretty meh, just trying to find ANYTHING that could relate to Carl Schmitt, because it would make the whole “topic/advisor” thing infinitely easier. I initially wanted to kick my own ass for chosing to write on the war on terror. And then something clicked. And then something else clicked. And its turned into a really awesome project.

The thesis is in. And now I promise never to speak of Carl Schmitt again!