Catch Up

Posted by Rachel Not Rebecca On June 28th, 2007 No Comments »

Hurray for the east coast. I have had delicious pizza and bagels and thus life is good.

In my last days in Chicago, I managed to have some fun. I had a drink at the Lounge in the John Hancock building. I jumped in Lake Michigan with all my clothes on. I met up with Adrienne for lunch. Adrienne is a high school acquintence of mine whom I’ve known via Onstage tech and decathlon. Adrienne is one of those people whom I’ve always wished I got to know better.

Final thoughts on MAPSS?

Well, it wasn’t the worst way to spend 9 months.

Scene: Chris, trying to convince me that my thesis is not a failure.
Me: Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll say it again ‘An MA in 9 months is way more productive than getting knocked up’
Chris: Yeah that only takes a day. Or like, 10 minutes!

Well, I did get a boyfriend this year, so at least I’ve accomplished something
-Sarah

I am not qualified for any job my MA could get me
-Eric

Who is this “Chad” person?
-someone’s thesis advisor

What’s wrong with the people in your program? They always look so depressed
-CIR person

I don’t know anyone who’s said ‘MAPSS was a great experience! I’m so glad I came!’
-the conclusion of last week’s conversation

Damnit, I should have done CIR!
-me

MAPSS lies
-the general consensus

, amusement, closure, friends, grad school, graduation

Man, I’ve Gotta Get Out of This Town

Posted by Rachel Not Rebecca On June 19th, 2007 No Comments »

Damn, I’ve written a lot lately. Chalk it up to procrastination. Packing in my overheated apartment is absolutely no fun. It’s far better to sit in front of the fan, or sit in my air-conditioned office. The problem with not being busy is nothing gets done. When I have a million things to get done, I’m like a machine. When I have nothing to do but pack and enjoy my last few days here, I am a useless waste of space.

I have also acquired way too many books between thesis stuff and class materials, which I am hoping I can fit in the car. There is an odd balance of stuff that I took out here that’s not going back, because its going to my brother’s apartment, and stuff I’ve acquired here.

Also, I normally save EVERYTHING. Class notes, print outs of readings, etc. I have an entire filing box full of stuff from my undergrad; all my OCD notes, etc. But I am showing no mercy. I have probably gotten rid of several trees worth of print-outs. It’s kind of freeing. Like it took me about 18 months of thinking about it to even sort through all my undergrad garbage and file it. Now this stuff is gone and I never have to worry about it again. Which makes me think I should throw away all the boxes of stuff that are in my parent’s attic.

Plans for the rest of the week include going to the aquarium, because its free this week and they have penguins, meeting up with Adrienne for lunch, seeing some MAPSS people on last time, and wishing good riddance to Hyde Park and U Chicago. This is new and different, as the end of anything usually brings on a giant bout of nostalgia, but I’m so done here. I can’t wait to drive away.

, closure, moving

Anything Can Happen

Posted by Rachel Not Rebecca On April 16th, 2007 No Comments »

So after discussing the logistics of yet another move (blech) it’s official. I’ll be back in New York/Jersey at the end of June. No, I do not have a job or an apartment. However, last time I decided to move to New York I didn’t have either of those things, and it worked out pretty well.

It’s a weight off my shoulders to know; that’s one less decision to make. It’s the obvious thing to do really — Chicago has never felt quite right.

Getting that rough draft in really confirmed it for me — I’m almost done with what I came here to do, and now I’m ready to go home.
And as I learned in the final weeks of my final semester at Skidmore and as I saw again in my last few weeks in the city, a lot can happen in a short period of time, especially when you’re living towards an end.

Now to catch up my IR reading, write one awesome final draft, and get my ass back for the Second-Great-Job-and-Apartment-Search. Actually, properly speaking its the second great job hunt and the third great apartment hunt. And while I’m sure I’ll be cranky in the process (ug, job hunting. In July.) its going to be worth it.

, closure, grad school, nyc, thesis

Protected: Obviously, I am Zen

Posted by Rachel Not Rebecca On September 1st, 2006 Enter your password to view comments.

, closure, exes, moving, stress, work

Protected: Best Attempt At Grace, Redux

Posted by Rachel Not Rebecca On July 7th, 2006 Enter your password to view comments.

, closure, exes, navel gazing, relationships

Boys in Black T-Shirts.

Posted by Rachel Not Rebecca On April 13th, 2006 No Comments »

So I went last night, and I actually had fun, and it was the right about of socializing to snap me out of my “waaah, I don’t want to socialize” mood.

I got home, and I talked to HeWhoShallNotBeNamed, who was ¾ of the way into a bottle of wine…which made for an interesting conversation, in which he called me “babe” and “darling” a lot.

But we also talked, really talked, for the first time in almost a year. He told me about things with his current girlfriend. He loves her. Considers her marriage material. There’s a small twinge of jealousy.

But when he says, “I still maintain that you and I never would have worked long term” I can finally agree. Hindsight is 20/20. And then to my surprise “But I know I should have treated you better. I didn’t give you enough credit, and I didn’t respect your feelings.”

That was shocking. Especially coming from him.

We talked about U Chicago, New York rents, and Astoria bars. I told him a little bit about my life.

And then it came back to “us” even though there was never really an “us.”

“Can we admit we had an aborted relationship?” he asks me. “I still insist it never would have worked, and I was right for saying that.”

“You were right. You didn’t have to be such an asshole, but it was college. So whatever.”

“Can I call you my ex-girlfriend?”

“I already call you my ex-boyfriend.”

“Nice!”

He’s gotten, as I teased “profound”, but really I think it’s just that he’s a bit more sensitive, probably the result of having a girlfriend he’s actually interested in keeping. And it’s weird; I’m kind of happy for him. I’m kind of happy that he’s not such a jerk anymore, even though he was such a jerk to me. It makes me feel like I wasn’t crazy for seeing that potential.

So it was an amusing conversation, rather confessional on his side, I must say, and…yeah. Talking to him no longer makes my heart pound or my hands shake. So finally making good on dinner is set for Saturday, and it’s going to be kind of weird, but a year after-the-fact, I think I am finally confident enough to handle it.

, boys, closure, exes, happy