There is only so much “about my day” blogging I can do, because my days are generally really boring.  I’m also pretty much over this whole 100 day challenge thing. Like today, I am definitely just phoning it in. My mind is on the drive I have to make in two hours, and I’m too tired to even be anxious.

I convinced Joe to hang out for a little bit last night, which went a long way towards curing my crankiness over the fact that he’s leaving. Also, he knew I was cranky, because he was leaving, long before I did.

(Also, please someone stop me before I get into a political argument on Facebook. Someone posted some nonsense about “omg, they’re building a mosque at ground zero. That is spitting in the faces of all the people who died” I don’t have to tell any of you (I hope not, anyway) why this comment is ridiculous, but there is absolutely no point in arguing about it ON FACEBOOK. Now I’m angry.

Thank you all for you comments and encouragement yesterday. It helped, it really did. I have been a bad commenter lately. This is partially because I can’t get into using a reader, and partially because any bout of concentration I have during the day is spent on multi-tasking while cover lettering. And trying to keep up with my 100 day writing challenge. I used to actually “craft” blog entries, years ago, and reading them back, they sound crafted. Which isn’t wrong, it just reads like a girl who takes herself too seriously.

Which, to be fair, I probably did (do?). Who knows. Anyway, the point of this, is that writing every day forces me to stop considering my audience. I HAVE to write this. Maybe if I do this for long enough I will stop subconsciously writing for all those pseudonymed exes.

On my Facebook feed, a girl I knew from high school had posted “RIP [Name].” The same name as this guy I went to high school and middle school with, who was a friend, a co-worker, and my date to the eighth grade dance. We’ve kept in touch on and off over the years, and give him credit for “corrupting” me (he always teased me for being a straight edge) and teaching me how to have a good time in NYC.

Before I could even react (it was literally a few seconds) I learned from the comments on her status, that it was not the same person. (He has a fairly common name). But I’ve still gone back to her status over and over, and re-read the comments, to make sure.

I don’t have anything else to say about that, but it happened and I felt I should mention it. A guy from my graduating class did die a few months ago. I didn’ t know him at all, but his last name came right before mine alphabetically, so he sat in front of me for the PSATs and laughed at my Dawson’s Creek reference. It is totally ridiculous, the things you remember.

 Anyway, I should write that cover letter that I asked you all about yesterday, and tweak my resume, so I can submit it tomorrow.

Ok, time to hit post.

I restrained from posting earlier, when I was at the beginning of a panic attack, over something that certainly did not warrant panic, and babblig about it would have made it worse.  (Every is ok now. Not that it wasn’t in the first place)

My co-worker was teasing me about it, to which I shrugged and said “Residuals from my last job. It still gives me nightmares.” (Because more than two years later, it still does)

It seems I have not yet let go of NaBloPoMo, so I was thinking of extending it. How long, I don’t know. 100 days is a nice even number, but there’s the challenge of my vacation in mid-August.

Speaking of mid-August. There’s a gathering in St. Louis in August of people from Message Board of Note. The last time we had one of these was the much mentioned, disasterous Chicago trip. The weekend where everything that went wrong, did go wrong. (Through copicious fault on my own, and also because O-L-B was/is a total jackass).

O-L-B isn’t going to be there (if he was, I would be 100% not going. The thought of being in his presence makes my skin crawl) and neither will Ohio, so the potential for drama factor is low. But I still don’t know if it’s a good idea. Plus, it falls right at the end of my already planned family-friends vacation. In order to go, I’d have to leave Rhode Island a couple days ealier than intended. And while it’s not prohibitively expensive, I really should throw that money at paying off my car, if I’m going to enact A Plan by next February.

That’s a lot in the “con” column, lets talk about pros. Pro is that I would get to see Ellie, who I have not seen in way too long. Pro is that I would get to meet a few people in person who I have not already met. (Con: Minus Ellie, none of my most favorite people will be there.) Pro is that I would probably have fun once I got there, despite the seeming dread, and lord knows I could use  a little fun in my life.

I don’t know, so I’ m putting off the decision.

I really need to go back to the philosophy of One Day At A Time. When you immerse yourself in it, it is surprisingly effective. I didn’t know that before March 2009, but now I am a reluctant (if also forgetful) believer.

I have no idea where I am going, either with this entry, or any of these sentences.

I swear I had all these brilliant things to write about. I was constructing paragraphs on my way to work again. Of course, now that I’m in front of a computer screen, they’re all gone.

(Boston lost the NBA finals. Yay!)

I got a fortune cookie last night that said “You will move to a new home within a year.” First of all, it’s impressive that there was an actual FORTUNE (most of the time you just get little sayings or slogans) and second, yes I know it’s a fortune cookie, but…

I can’t help thinking of the last time I got a fortune cookie and scoffed. It was the night before I went back to school for senior year of college. I was so Not Happy then (even though in retrospect, my angst was almost entirely unwarranted) and I really didn’t want to go back up to school, even though it was only for one more semester. I just wanted to be done and leave college as a bad memory.

And then I got the fortune “a refreshing life change is in your future” and two months later things started to go and feel right again.

I know that there’s no correlation between the two, but when I saw the fortune yesterday “You will move to a new home within a year” I could not help but immediately internalize it, to think “see, here’s proof! It WILL get better! It’s going to happen.” Because I am pretty much desperate to feel genuinely optimistic and I’m having a really difficult time lately believing that anything will ever change.

And while a year is an awful long time to wait (I really wanted to be out of here by this summer) it would at least be an endpoint and a light at the end of the tunnel.

So I find myself sitting here, annoyed that there are never any new job postings on Fridays (or really Mondays too. What’s with the three day weeks HR people?), impatient to see if I’ll hear from this boy I may be trying to have coffee with, and thinking about the fortune.

And thinking please let it be true. Please let it be true.

Fact: Obsessively checking your email is unhealthy whether you are waiting for responses from boys or from jobs. I know I said in the past that maybe boys could at least distract me from the fruitless job search, but I think at the end of the day I just wind up double insane.

I am going to actually LEAVE THE OFFICE during my lunch break, because I don’t know, fresh air, or some such nonsense. But it never fails: I go out (and while this is, in sum, likely healthier than sitting in front of the computer for that hour) and am so disappointed to return to an empty inbox.

(I really need to get a life) ((I KNOW THAT! THAT IS WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO)) (I am talking to myself via parentheticals. Clearly progress is stalled)

Fact: I will never get a new job or a boyfriend.

And yes, I know that is entirely too fatalistic, and that if I were the type of blogger who had many readers, I would likely get a dozen comments about how that is not true. However, I will never, nor to I aspire to, be the type of blogger with a lot of readers (probaby because I have a bad attitude) and so when I make this statement, I am not fishing for comments but merely admitting to myself that that is what I feel (and fear). Putting it in words means that it is real, so I am loathe to do so, but there is it.

I am not supposed to fear; in fact, fear is supposed to be the enemy, the underlying source of all misery (that is what I have been told, over and over again). But it is there. I haven’t had one in person interview (other than the Libertarian fellowship) and in the past 6 months I’ve generally managed to be waiting on one possibility at almost all times. (It helped that one company took two months of interviewing to reject me). Now I am not waiting on any possibilities, I just have applications out that will not get responses. I am out of places to look. My network is quiet. I am back down to no leads, no prospects, and no hope.

As for boys, I haven’t been on a date in more than two years, if you can even call O-L-B a date, which is likely even more pathetic.

I’m going to go for a drive now, and try to resurrect the decent mood I was clinging on to this morning. Self pity is not a pretty color on me.

The combination of my daily Wellbutrin with a Claritan D to ward off the allergy attacks from the pollen (exacerbated, no doubt, by dusty files) PLUS my morning cup of coffee must have been too much of a jolt for my poor-addled mind to handle.

I’ve been unfocused and nervous and have all this anxiety that has no where to go. I tried channeling it into cover letters, but anxiety is the opposite of arrogance, so that was a lost cause.

Important Documents haven’t gotten to Important People (thanks UPS!), I haven’t started packing for the office move, (I’ve been ARCHIVING, there is a difference) and after a brief burst of attempted gym rattery, I’ve not been in a month. Now, it’s a popular notion that exercise is a good means to combat stress/anxiety. However, my anxiety is such that I can’t even stay still long enough to do a worthwhile amount of time on the treadmill. (Yes, I know I wouldn’t be “staying still” on the treadmill.  It’s the struggle to just do ONE task that’s driving me mad.)

This job is making me bitchy. I was just really impatient with  the UPS lady on the phone. There are so many piles and papers surrounding my desk that I don’t even know where to begin. I know the sooner I get done with these things the sooner I can have my sanity back, but it’s one of those paradox-like things and I just lost my train of though.

At this point, I should really just go home, but I’m paranoid about driving because my windshield was replaced and the guy was like “you have to wait an hour” (that was 90 minutes ago) and I don’t know what I think I’m achieving by waiting longer, especially since I’m going to go drive on Route 80 and risk getting my windshield re-smashed by another pesky rock.

I also like to write run on sentences.

Duke won last night and I’m thrilled. Not only did I have them to win in my annual Arbitrary-Picks pool, they beat Butler, who I always root against because of my dislike of Judith Butler. (Note: the school has nothing to do with the feminist theorist, but that is why this is called Arbitrary-Picks.)

Normally, I love an underdog story, but since I was already rooting for Duke, I found it amusing to watch the barrage of Facebook statuses about how Duke is evil, and Butler must win for the good of humanity. Apparently, hating Duke is like hating the Yankees. How educational!

It’s unseasonably warm here, which bodes unwell (for me) for summer. Last year, it rained for most of May and June and I think even into July. Sure it started to make me a little cranky, but I’ll take that over heat which makes me A LOT cranky. I suppose the positive to not being able to find a job in DC is that there’s no chance of me winding up down there for this summer. Looks like I won’t have to be taking the Metro in the sweltering heat. For all my love of city living and the ability to take public transportation everywhere, I must admit that it is nice to go from air conditioned office to car to air conditioned home. In New York it was always air conditioned office to sweltering subway station to 10 minutes walk to the apartment to unairconditioned 3rd floor room.

Bright side to everything, right? Plus there is no way I could commute in these 3 inch platform sandals. There’s walking and then there’s those really long ass escalators at certain DC stops, such as the one at Foggy Bottom (I think?), which is downright terrifying.

But I’m not moving to DC this summer. That is ok. This summer will be post-office move at work, and it should be nice, and maybe they’ll even let me work from home a few days (although with the traffic around here dies once the kids are out of school. So it’s not a hardship to commute.) Do you know what would really make my summer? Bon Jovi at Giant Stadium tickets. Anyone want to get them for me?

Good Things

(1) I worked from home on Thursday, because it was set to snow all day, and both my bosses have the attitude “It’s way more important for you to be safe than anything that’s going on in the office.” Sadly, many bosses do not have this attitude, so I appreciate it.

(2) The power went out on Thursday night and Friday, it was still snowing and I couldn’t get to work. And I obviously couldn’t work from home, because the power was out. My boss was totally understanding.

(3) I went to family friend’s house on Friday night, for dinner. They are my parent’s best friends and I grew up with their kids, and they are basically some of the best people in the world.

(4) I flirted with a Libertarian from Canada who I have never met IRL, and probably never will, on Facebook chat last night, for the second Saturday in a row. No, I have no shame. Why do you ask?

(5) I talked to Lisa last night about anniversaries, pathetic Saturday nights, and comparing yourself to people you graduated with. There is something truly comforting about the people who know all your flaws and still love you.

Not-So-Good-Things

(1) No power.

(2) A Research Associate application I put together could have been better. Why did I not do more quantitative research in grad school?

(3) General laziness.

More details to follow. Monday I’ll likely be very busy at work, due to not being in the office on Thursday/Friday, but after that I have to write about these things, and also how Jon Bon Jovi is one of the wisest men in the world.

.

I’m busy playing “hurry up and wait” with some things at work that are making me feel as if I don’t have it together and I’m not on top of things. I hate that. It is also causing me to be weirdly procrastinate-y with both stuff here and job applications stuff. Did I mention I’m tired and had nightmares about Jason Voorhees (of Friday the 13th fame) last night?

At least it’s Friday. I will try to restrain from whining/fretting about the laundry I have to do and the errands I must run and the gym I AM GOING TO GO TO DAMNIT (I have Milly now, as reinforcement). Of course, by informing you of that (alleged) restrain, I have in fact whined/fretted.

I want to see the movie Valentine’s Day, because it is supposed to be similar to Love, Actually. No one will see it with me, and I rarely go to the movie anyway, (In fact, the last thing I saw in the theaters was the Friday the 13th remake that came out last February – perhaps that’s why I have Jason Voorhees on the brain) but maybe I’ll just go by myself this weekend. Mm, movie popcorn with delicious artificial butter.

Speaking of movies, my Younger-Wiser-Sibling (who clearly has too much time on his hands. Oh to have the musicians lifestyle) started bombarding me with text messages/emails about the movie Armaggedon. Yes, the Bruce Willis movie about the giant asteroid. (I love that movie!) I have posted it below for my own entertainment. Perhaps, you too will find it funny (unlikely). More likely, you just think it is lunacy and don’t get why I am cracking up over it. If, however, it makes sense to you AND you think it’s funny, than you, are perhaps my soulmate/new best friend.

Deep Thoughts on Armaggedon (The Movie) – by Rachel’s Younger-Wiser-Sibling

I was watching armageddon and it struck me how the president of the USA was giving a speech to the entire world, and he said “I’m not the President, or the leader of a major country, but a citizen of the world”, and it was and odd thing to say given how amero-centric the response to the catastrophe was then I started thinking about how that blithe ignorance of the unilateral v. multinational split in american politics could only happen pre-9/11.

Also, the shuttles are named the Freedom and Independence — as if the asteroid is an evil threat to america — as opposed to something that is going to blow up the entire world.

It’s sort of like when Liv Tyler starts crying when they think that both shuttles blew up and everything failed — not because that means the world (her life and everyone else’s life included) is going to end in 12 hours but because that means Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis are dead.

For instance, what would Obama think about the way we responded to the asteroid, without even consulting other countries or asking the UN if it would be okay to use a nuke? I also assume that we were the only country who knew about it (aside from Russia, of course, but only because they were helping with refueling from the space station), and that they took great care to make sure that no other countries found out about that. I cannot imagine the EU being very happy to learn that the American government is hiding apocolyptic secrets from the rest of the world on the grounds that it ‘knows better’ than everyone else and all that

Also, I forgot to mention that the whole film was probably co-funded by the NASA lobby and the nuclear research/arms lobby.

I’ll share all the exciting details about that which brought The Fret on Monday. Because by then it will likely be a case of “all’s well that ends well” (I hope).

For now, I will just say:

…that even though I was at work until 8:00 PM on Friday night, waiting for Important Documents that didn’t show up…

…and even though I checked my work email about 100x today…

…and even though I got woken up by a work related phone call at an absurdly early hour…

…and even though, the past few weeks (really, since the holidays) work has been filled with crankiness…

This situation has made me once again absurdly grateful that it is taking place at my Current Job and not The-Job-That-Wasn’t.

Were the same situation playing out at The-Job-That-Wasn’t, well, first of all, I wouldn’t know how to handle it, because I wouldn’t have been given any information in the first place – I would have been expected to just do it all myself. But if this was happening at The-Job-That-Wasn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to eat or sleep this weekend, and my Former-Important-Boss definitely would NOT have been able to see any humor in the situation (because seriously? It’s Pieces of Paper that have to be signed by Important People. And we’re driving ourselves CRAZY over it. I mean, obviously there are reasons why this has to be done, but it’s not like life or death).

Instead, after being woken up at an absurdly early hour, I had coffee and did some reading. And checked my email. And then I went out for lunch and shopping and singing in my car. And tonight I broke out the Buffy DVDs (shut up) and also talked to Keithers. And yes, I checked my email about 100 times.

But I’m not afraid to walk into work on Monday morning and I won’t have to spend half the day with my head down, hiding my tears or terrified facial expressions. (Former-Important-Boss made me cry several times a week and towards the end all the stress and worry and horribleness had just built up and built up and it didn’t take much to set me off anyway.)

So although it seems strange to find gratitude in a ridiculous work situation, it’s there. Because I am capable of getting Important Documents signed, I’m having a decent weekend, and my boss isn’t going to make me cry on Monday morning.

And somehow, that never gets old.

I finished the West Wing last night, and got depressed, because in general I find Series Finale’s terribly depressing, and this one particularly so, because it’s all about endings and change, and I deal with neither very well, apparently. And also, Josh and Donna melted my heart, and yet makes me sad in the way Dawson’s Creek used to make me sad when I was 15.

I am apparently jealous of the alleged emotions of tv characters.

So, it’s back to work and I’m drinking tea instead of my second cup of coffee, because it’s the New Year and I really should cut back on my coffee consumption.  I’m debating job hunting tactics with David and catching up on my filing.  I was irritated by 8:30.  I have a to-do list for January that contains nothing difficult but already looks intimidating. I would really like to lose 10 pounds (at least) but that requires a gym and getting over my gym phobia.

Sigh. My wish for 2010 is to be more social, the fulfillment of which is severely limited by my current suburban-circumstances.

My commute to work was foiled by a whopping 3 inches of snow, timed just so, that it completely fucked up the commute. Ninety minutes into what should be a twenty five minute drive, I gave up and turned around. Somewhere in there is a metaphor for 2009.

So I’m home with the cat and some coffee and my laptop and that’s about the extent of what I have planned for the entire day/evening.

Happy New Year Blogosphere.

Given that I spent 8.5 months not driving, it seems completely wrong to complain that I get to start driving again JUST IN TIME for there to be snow and ice to clean off my car and slippery roads to contend with. So I’m not complaining, I’m merely observing the timing.

I can’t believe it is December and that it is almost 2010. I know I say that every year. In some ways this is the opposite of 2007. In 2007, a lot of objectively good things happened. I finished my MA program early, like I had wanted to, I moved back to NYC, like I had wanted to, I got The-Job-That-Wasn’t, like I wanted to. And I was miserable, and it was a horrible year. This year some bad things have happened, and I have been cooped up in my parent’s house for most of it. Objectively, it’s been static. I’m no closer to a social life or a love life than I was at this time last year.

And while I wouldn’t call it a “good” year, it’s been a better year. Better than 2007 or 2008, certainly, which were the worst of years.  So that is certainly something.

My feet are killing me from walking around the city in high heeled, pointy-toed boots. Michael was late meeting me, so I killed time by wandering around Union Square. I’d forgotten about the Union Square market, that makes the area even more of a people-traffic nightmare.

But anyway, Michael finally arrived, we got delicious Indian food, walked down by the Brooklyn Bridge (at his request. It was ridiculously windy and also boots not meant for walking) and got coffee. We were already in Tribeca, so I decided to just find the WTC PATH station. It seems to have lost the spell of HWSNBN. However, I had also forgotten that the PATH weekend service has been cut even MORE if that were possibly. It’s incredibly inconvenient to get to Hoboken Train Station from WTC on a weekend. I hate the PATH.

Also, taking the train in/out of the city is the only time I buy semi-trashy magazines anymore because even though they are the exact same thing as when I was 16,  they keep me from throwing murderous gazes at parents who let their little children SHRIEK the entire train ride.

November needs to end, so I can stop writing about the first thing that comes into my head, and actually have a chance to write something decent.

I’ve been up for almost two hours, but I’m still groggy from the Benadryll, probably, even though I only took one. I don’t know how my body can handle a super powerful anti-anxiety drug that knocks me the hell out (I don’t take it every night) but can’t recover from Benadryll.

Writing about work on a blog that could be discovered is a surefire way to get yourself in trouble, so I will just say that it was a trying week and yesterday was a bad afternoon. I know where its coming from – everyone is dealing with unreasonable demands and ridiculous deadlines. It’s not going to get any better anytime soon though, so it doesn’t seem worth delving into.

I’ve given myself an assignment to get caught up on general foreign policy news this weekend, because my knowledge is general and out dated. On one hand – I work full time, and while I don’t have much else going on right now, the Libertarian Fellowship people don’t know that, so I think it should be understandable that I don’t have the same level of knowledge about current events as someone who works in the think tank field. On the other, logic is hardly ever a factor in these things, so I better study up.

I really hate having to say “the war on terror” when I talk about my interests, because everyone is sick of the war on terror. People were sick of the war on terror two and a half years ago when I was writing my thesis. I didn’t even want to GO there, but Carl Schmitt, that rapscallion, he made it impossible not to. And I think that my work, and the work that I want to do is valid, and relevant, and hell, even important, but using the phrase “war on terror” seems to cheapen it. It seems dated. But I don’t know what other name to give to the general, overall U.S. strategy/foreign policy stance(s) in the post-September 11th era (another reference that I am loathe to make. I don’t think the event should have changed out policies like it did, but that’s another rant altogether.)

My cat is curled up at the end of my bed, fast asleep. He seems to have the right idea.

I’ve started about 5 different blog entries today on 5 completely different trains of thought.

But the day was insane (mostly a good kind of insane, until the very end).

(Also I am annoyed at my rampant consumerism being foiled by Shipping Fail. I am more annoyed by this then I rightly should be, but I think it is compounded by the fact that Online Shopping is currently my only option and I do not have the luxury of simply driving 10 minutes to a indulge my inner Capitalist Fan Girl ((Also, WHERE IS MY LETTER, STATE OF NEW JERSEY))

So the day did not have my ideal end, but these are total bourgoise complaints, but it’s NaBloPoMo, so I can use this to fill up space.

The only thing on my mind is the Libertarian Fellowship. All I have been doing it reloading my email and angsting to my friends via email about it. I said to Brent yesterday “I really have nothing to say that isn’t obsessing over the libertarians. I am completely uninteresting in that respect. (waits for you to point out that this is actually in all respects)”

And that about sums it up.

Oh, and when I remember, I’m also worrying about the fact that I haven’t heard from the bureaucracy of the State of NJ regarding my license.

I am falling back into my old habit of not being able to accomplish anything else, think about anything else, etc, etc until that which I am worrying about is resolved. It’s an issue that I have been trying to work on for years, and I’ve gotten better, but this is a pretty big test of my patience and resolve and I am failing somewhat miserably.

At least my closet is clean. And my hair has looked good all week thanks to my new magic hair straightener. And I will soon have more clothes than I know what to do with (via my anxiety induced shopping spree). And I’m smashing my high scores on Wordtwist.

Still waiting for news, obviously, and the longer I don’t hear the less optimistic I am. There is no logic that I could introduce to the equation that would make me feel any better/more positive about this. It is not a rational thought process.

I am irritable. Truly, madly, deeply.

First, the ATM is still not working. Logic should dictate that I simply go to another ATM, but the whole “I can’t drive” thing sort of puts a damper on my freedom, even the freedom to merely search out an ATM.

Secondly, some new person in A/P is just inventing these new procedures/rules and totally screwing up my invoice processing. This should be a very, very simple task from start to finish, but there are constantly like, 87 new people involved, asking questions and making things complicated.

It’s also raining, so the bottom of my jeans are wet. And my crazy carpool lady cannot drive on Friday (after not driving yesterday) and she is going on and on about her dental issues and it’s like “Shut up lady, it’s 8:00 am, get over your teeth and drive the car.” And I could work overtime on Thursday due to a major quarterly project, but probably can’t do it because of driving situation.

There are four more weeks of this nonsense, but that’s if and only if the bureaucracy of the State of New Jersey has worked itself out correctly, and that is a big “If.”

And I have meetings I have to go to tonight and tomorrow night, and I woke up dreading the one tonight (and that’s the lesser of two evils one). I HATE, HATE, HATE the Wednesday one, to the point where walking out of there at 10:05 PM is the best part of my week because it means I don’t have to go back for another week. And since I’ve skipped the Tuesday one the past two weeks, I REALLY have to go, and it’s somehow harder to force myself to these things after an absence.

I know I say I just want to know about the phone interview one way or another (and I know all of you are entirely sick of hearing about this, but so is everyone else in my real life) but I’m going to be crushed if it’s a “no.” I’m going to be even more crushed if come Friday, I don’t hear anything because, as I mentioned yesterday, I won’t be able to stop myself from hoping about the off chance that I wound up in the wrong application pool. But seriously, if my application was so bad that I don’t even warrant a phone interview? Forget the 8% acceptance rate – I’m going to be crushed.

So when you combine this with the little irritating things, you have a Rachel who is not quite fit for human contact. And of course this is the week that I have to be a happy little worker bee at work because its quarterly report time!

For all my complaining lately that my 09-09-09 prediction/pact with Keith was not coming to fruition, today was a pretty lucky day.

I figured there was something wacky going on with jury service, because of the message last night, and there were probably 300 people there for jury duty. I don’t think this is the norm because there were definitely not enough seats in the juror room.

Anyway, I was getting really worried because the trials they were selecting for were all cases that were set to last for over a month  This would be really, really inconvenient, plus my company pays for a maximum of 3 days Jury Duty. Plus I actually like my job and have Things That Need To Get Done at my job, and being out 3 times a week for 2 months would be really, really annoying.

I tried for the “financial hardship” excuse because I think being forced to live on an extremely reduced salary for months should count. But I’m single and without dependents, so I didn’t meet the threshold.

So it was back to the jury pool, a lot of waiting, and a lot of anxiety. When my group was called down to the judges chambers my heart was pounding.

And then I heard what the case was about, and got really excited, because it was completely relevant to my line of work. The case itself was not something I would have anything more than a cursory understanding of, but I knew I could spin my job to make it look as if I would understand the intricacies of the dispute.

Turned out I didn’t need to. I got asked two questions regarding my occupation and as soon as the second answer was out of my mouth they dismissed me. I did not even have to exaggerate.

Now it’s back to work tomorrow, to worry away the rest of the week. I have a headache from reading all day, and also from reading on the bus home for over an hour. But I did get through 3 chicklit novels of varying awfulness, so there’s that.

I started a post last night about how I really didn’t want to go back to work and how I was having this Pavlonian-esque response to Labor Day. My stomach was in knots and I was filled with just this dread that one feels the night before school starts. And I liked school, for the most part!

But anyway, I didn’t finish it, because whining is unattractive and to save myself from future cringing and deleting, I stopped writing. Also, laziness.

Read the rest of this entry »