I’m writing this post and I don’t know if it will ever see the light of day, and if it does, I don’t know how long it will stay posted before I snatch it down because it’s just Too Much.

One word is reverberating through my brain (I hate that word — reverberating — it’s just Too Much, but it’s the first word I put down): Act.

Act. Act. Act. Act. Act.

Stop sitting cross-legged on your bed, with bad TV on in the background, blogging about Some Days and Plans and The Future. Stop wasting your days mindlessly clicking through the internet at the your 9-5 – just because it’s Not So Bad, and is in fact Not Bad At All, doesn’t mean it isn’t suffocating you. Stop waiting for something to inspire you, to motivate you, to give you that final push. Why don’t you make like one of those cliched 20sb bloggers you have a tendency to roll your eyes at and inspire yourself. (Ironically of course…yeah…)

Act. Act. Act.

Oh, I know there’s all the reasons you can’t Act right now. You don’t have your ducks in a row just yet, little girl. You still have to pay off your car (…you know, you don’t NEED a car in DC. In fact, you don’t even WANT to have a car in DC. You could sell your car you know. People do it everyday) and there’s that big car insurance payment due in September (see the previous parenthesis) and you want to save up just a little bit more so you can feel safe. There’s still DUCKS, damnit. This sort of thing requires planning. You can’t just pick up and go. You can’t. These things take time, and you’ve been impatient from day one.

Act. Act. Act.

What would be best? Ok, I know your ideal. Your ideal is you suddenly (but finally) get something akin to a Dream Job. The Libertarian Fellowship, next year, for example. Or if that job you just spent three days crafting an application for wanted you, that would be one too. Or if that organization that the recruiter knew you’d be perfect for would offer up the position again, instead of listing it and then changing their mind. You want that, I know, so that when you tell your boss you’re leaving, you can at least show you’re leaving for Something. There’s no denying that when you quit PLI all those years ago, you really got off on the fact that you were leaving to go to one of the best schools in the country.

Would you be ok with leaving for just Another Job, if it’s a job in the city you want to be in? A job that may be one step closer to what you Really Want? Would that be ok with you, or would you rather just leave for no job at all, because then you at least look brave instead of settling. And is it settling to pick up and move for a job you won’t really care about, because it will get you to the city where you can network like hell and try to sneak into the job(s) you really want? (And also, stop projecting, because you don’t know anything yet)

You won’t know until you get there. Until you Act.

What’s it going to take for you to do that?