I think I would give anything at this point just for an interview. I am back down to no prospects.

I have written this mildly snarky cover letter and I am trying to decide whether I should actually submit it, with my real resume. This is to a Prestigious Non-Profit, that I have applied to many, many times for multiple positions and never gotten a response. I suspect that when they post a position, they already have someone (or several potential someones) and the public posting is just there because it is required by lawCut for career whining

I don’t expect this place to ever hire me and I don’t really want to work there anymore (I’d never refuse a job with them, but have basically decided it isn’t worth my effort) and I’m trying to work up the nerve to submit it, just to see if I get a response. Probably not. I can’t be the only one who submits sarcastic cover letters.

There’s nothing else going on in my life except the job search. I know that I should try to find other things to fill my time, but I’m trapped in that head space where I feel like I can’t do anything until I solve the job problem. It’s not as bad as I felt when I was unemployed; far from it (standard disclaimer about how I am grateful to be employed) but when people ask what I do, it’s a breathless rush to explain that I’m doing this now but I’m looking for something else, the economy is just bad and it’s been bad since I graduated and…

And all I’ve ever had are jobs. Nothing has been a career. I have drifted from assistantship to assistantship. First it was that I wasn’t staying anywhere long enough for it to become a career (pre-grad school) and then it was the disasterous Job-That-Wasn’t and for nearly two years, I’ve been here. And there’s no where to go here.

When I’m driving, especially when I’m on my lunch break, I’m composing paragraphs in my head, 99.9% of which will never hit paper. Yesterday, I was thinking about satirical cover letters, and the finished product is not the project I was imagining – I attempted to write that, but only have two paragraphs thus far. And the day before that, I was thinking it had been awhile since I chronicled my utter sap-titude, and my West Wing obsession has certainly given more fodder for my hopeless romantic obsession, and I was writing all these lovely sentences about it. But apparently, I am only poetic when gray matter is the canvas.

So anyway, it’s Friday, and I haven’t had nearly enough caffeine, but the cafeteria in this new office space is far, far away.