Wednesday, December 23, 4:06 PM

I was puzzled by the “Unavailable” on my Caller ID, but I knew what it was as soon as I answered it, before the person on the other end responded.

And I knew, before she even got through the script she’d undoubtably been given, what she was going to say.

I got rejected from the Libertarian Fellowship.

Five days later

There are about a thousand things I could write about. About how part of me feels this was my only way into DC (and why). About the cover letters for other jobs that I should start writing (because I guess I want DC, damnit…or something). About why that feels useless too. About timing. About the luxury of timing. About ideal jobs and how most people don’t even like their jobs and the avenues I should consider as a result. About pride and ego.

But mostly, there’s nothing I can write, and nothing anyone can say that I don’t already know. I don’t want to get too emo about this and I want to fight the good fight and keep pursuing DC. But I am not naive and I have perused the job listings and there is nothing that even comes close to this.

I can settle for something less, and I’m used to that, and it would turn out fine.

But for once, just once, I wanted to not have to settle. I think that’s what is bothering me the most.