The Fifth Time

In 2007 I predicted that “next year, I will feel better.” And it is true. There is still a long, long way to go though, and sometimes I get really depressed by how much left there is.

1.  What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Wound up in ER. Fun!

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn’t make any. There was a “What do you want out of 2008″ and I said “more money” (got it. got fired, got a new job with more money) that i wanted to stop being afraid to want things (I think I just need to stop wanting the wrong things.) and christopher meloni. He still hasn’t called me!

What do I want out of 2009?
To stay sober and to find more inner peace, and to stop trying to impress guys who are no good for me.

3. What countries did you visit?
None

4. What would you like to have in 2009that you lacked in 2008?
Continuous sobriety and a complete lack of Drama

5. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory?
April 15th, July 11th, September 4th, November 29th

6. What was your biggest achievement of the year??
Starting the long process of doing something about my drinking problem

7. What was your biggest failure??
My unmitigated disaster of a relapse in and immediately following Chicago and everything that went along with it. Getting black out drunk and sleeping with OLB at Thanksgiving.

8. Did you suffer illness or injury?
More black and blues that I can count, bruised knees from trying to walk in cute but impractical shoes, oh and alcohol poisoning. That was special.

9. What was the best thing you bought?
an iPod, maybe

10. Whose behavior merited celebration?

David: For believing me. For supporting me every single step of my recovery, including the relapses, and always being there to listen and about a million other awesome things.

11. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Besides my own, without a doubt O-L-B’s

12. What did you get really, really, really excited about??
Unfortunately, I got really excited about Chicago, which in retrospect was a mistake, and a bad idea in general. I also got really excited about my job turning from temp to full time, because it is the best job ever.
13. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Farewell to Tinkerbell (Edwin McCain) reminds me of May/June and driving to HFC with Lear

14. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Happier.

15. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I’d read more. Wow, I never thought I’d be one to have to say that.

16. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Less self destructive behavior, less lying to myself about my motivations

17. How will you be spending Christmas?
Jewishly

18. Did you fall in love in 2008?
No

19. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I hope I don’t hate OLB. I don’t want him to have that power over me.
20. What was the best book you read?
I don’t even know.

21. What was your greatest musical discovery?
George Strait

22. What did you want and get?
I got more money – and  a new, better job, although I didn’t know I wanted that at this time last year.

23. What did you want and not get?
OLB. Dru.

24. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Mostly nothing. I went to an AA meeting in the morning, went out for steak with my parents that night, and got some books

25. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I hadn’t screwed up Chicago? I don’t know.

26. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
According to Lear I dress like a high schooler

27. What kept you sane?
David. Lear.

28. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most??
Christopher Meloni and Jon Stewart are my standards.

29. Who was the best new person you met?
Lear and Matt

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?

Heh. It’s more of what life lessons should I have learned (I apparently haven’t learned them well if I’m still doing crap like sleeping with OLB). Although I guess I have learned that Dagny Taggart is probably not an ideal I should aspire to, as there is nothing neccesarily noble about stoicism, etc.

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