Posted by Rachel Not Rebecca On November 14th, 2008
I was originally going to write a “deep” about memory today, but the words just aren’t come out the way I want them to. I know, that’s no excuse. The purpose of this space is to post imperfectly, but I am my first and most critical audience. I want to be able to re-read an entry because I like it, and not scroll past it because it’s unimpressive or uninteresting.
But instead of memory, or a reflection on the fact that yesterday marked nine years to the day that I first kissed The Ex (and the fact that that was nearly a decade ago…my lord), or yet another navel-gazed novel about how I’m feeling I decided to go for a stream of consciousness blather. I’m not even going to re-read this before I post it.
I don’t know why I’m suddenly fretting about work. Maybe its because before this job turned permanent, I had the luxury of being able to say “well, it’s just a temp job. It doesn’t matter too much if I suck.” I’m also probably being over sensitive, because the experience at The-Job-That-Wasn’t was so dreadful that old habits are dying hard. It took me probably a month being here before I could even ask questions and take the answers at face value.
(My old boss used to purposefully give me incorrect information. I would double check things with him that just seemed…odd…and he would repeat his request, and then once I finished whatever task he had given me and brought it into his office, he’d give me a look like “WTF?” and say something along the lines of “Now why would you do that?!?” and I would attempt to stutter out “…well…because…you told me to?” And it was always bad. I had to adjust to the fact here that people are not actively looking to mess with my head. )
, memory lane, stress, the-job-that-wasn't, work
Says:
Yep, staying in the present. Probably my biggest challenge.
November 14th, 2008 at 9:35 amSays:
I hate when I have a really hard time getting the words out. That’s been happening more often than not lately.
November 14th, 2008 at 10:24 am