1) Christopher Meloni-as-Elliot-Stabler. I never watched X-Files but now I understand the Mulder/Scully shipper-ness. Because I am SO an Elliot and Olivia ‘shipper. I am probably way too old for that, but I’m also trapped at UChicago and everyone at the nerdery needs a guilty pleasure.

2) JBJ. Because I can’t be a proper Jersey girl without acknowledging JBJ. In my bedroom at my parents house, there is still a giant JBJ poster, in which he looks particularly hot. I also like that poster because of the inclusion of roses, which I take as a reference to the song “Bed of Roses” a song that I adore, and a song which the Ex, who also liked JBJ, did not like, so I had to be all alone in my adoration of this song. Actually, there’s a line in there that I’ve always used in reference to decathlon. (…but I laughed so hard I think I cried) It was in regards to April 20, 2001. I am still in contact with 50% of the people who were in that room, and wow, that was non-sequitor. Also, I am on the record for admitting I’d marry Billy Joel, and being totally outraged that he’d marry someone a mere 18 months older than me, like WTF Billy Joel, I’m pretty and Jewish and a Jersey accent is similar to Long Island.
3) Jon Stewart: the thinking woman’s sex symbol. (Also, potentially a libertarian, AND he sung Allentown on his show once.)

4) I’m not telling you, its way too mockable. And $20 bucks says Brent knows what I’m referring to, because WTF life, why’d you invent someone who knows me so well?

5) Pacey Witter, circa season 3 of Dawson’s Creek. You know Pacey and Joey broke up at about the same time as my ex-ex-ex broke up with me? And so the Prom episode almost made me cry, because um, scarry-relevant-lines?  Oy vey, SO MUCH DRAMA, that was oh-so-much a mess and clearly my identifcation with Joey Potter is very wrong. But also, we watched that episode together. Clearly, I have complex relationships with my exes.

6) Christopher Meloni-as-Elliot-Stabler. (says valuable sources “you just like angsty men.”) I blame Xina for this. She got me into SVU our last semester at college.Sunday marathons, and Tuesday girly-TV-night (Gilmore, One Tree Hill, SVU, Jon Stewart)

7) Almanzo Wilder — my first literary crush. Cleary, its the driving thing.

Hank Rearden. I still maintain that Dagny and him are an awesome literary couple. I love the scene when he’s like “its so obvious that you’ve been waiting for me.” And also the one where they go to dinner in Jersey.

9) Franscico (from Atlas Shrugged). Hello black t-shirts.

10) Christopher Meloni-as-Elliot-Stabler. Clearly, I have an obsession.