Because my friends have been very good with the “Don’t worry, you WILL find a job,” (although it hasn’t happened yet, and I’m nervous and panicky and worried and, and, and…!!!) these are some other things that WILL happen.

-Jon will take the GMATs and get a perfect score on the math section. It’ll be just like his triumph in math at States.

-Brent will return from Ithaca, belligerent and tired from days of drinking and gambling. However, he will be over his annoyance with all things O-Town and we will hang out because I am in total withdrawal

-I will never have to work at B&N café EVER AGAIN.

-Sebastian will finally get away from Skidmore and his plane will not be late, and if it is I promise to go down to Newark and hang out with him while he waits

-Paul will design an awesome anti-hipster t-shirt. It will catch on and he will make millions. Unfortunately, hipsters who are unaware of their “hipster” status will probably want them too.

-Ben will take over my car when I move, and for the first time ever there will be no shoes in that car.

And things WILL go in a good direction. The right direction. And everything WILL be okay.

And if I can’t find employment, I will enact my plan to run away to Europe.