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For The Ninth Time

2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

Went west of Chicago for the first time (not counting Alaska) first in February to visit Ellie & David, and then in July for the Denver road trip.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Short answer: no and no.

3) What countries did you visit?

None, but The Roommate and I went on a pretty epic road trip. DC to Wincester, VA to Clarksburg WV, to Parkersburg, WV, to Lancester OH, to Columbus OH, to Terre Haute, IA, to Leasburg, MO, to Mansfeild MO, to Springfield, MO, Topeka KS, to Denver CO (and Mt. Evans), and back to Leasburg, to Wincester, KY

4. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Continuous sobriety and ego strength. Oh, and a permanent job.

5. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory?

August 24, July 7-20, May 6, January 19

6. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Asking The [Now] Boyfriend to come down to DC, which he had offered 10 million times and I finally asked.

7. What was your biggest failure?
Drinking too much and doing stupid/destructive things while drunk

8. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Lots of black and blues and hangovers/withdrawals.

9. What was the best thing you bought?

All the money spent on the Denver road trip was not a financially wise decision, but it was all worth it.

10. Whose behavior merited celebration?

The Boyfriend. For many things, but foremostly for answering me when he had every right to ignore me.

The Roommate – for calling me out, going to SMART meetings with me, holding my hand when I was freaking out, and being the best road trip companion I could ask for (<3 you Roommate. Portland in 2014?)

The Best Friend – our relationship ebbs and flows, but as always “you are the one who knows me better/than anyone ever will again”

Joe – who forces me to amend the above lyric to “you are the ones who know me better than anyone ever will again”

Ellie – for letting me barge into her home in February when I needed to escape, where I had to do nothing but watch Teen Mom and pet cats (oh, and help David bs his way through a final paper, but that was fun!) And then she came and visited me in June and it was awesome! (Thank you to David for letting me borrow your wife for a few days)

Charlotte – she understands things. You might not get it. It might be a Gemini thing.

The Message Board of Note crew – There are no words for how lucky I am to have stumbled into the greatest internet community ever. Whenever I posted about my troubles, they were supportive as hell. Even though if you looked at my post count you might think I’m not invested in the community, but considering I live with a fellow Grylliader (seperate bedrooms people. SEPERATE BEDROOMS) I think I clearly owe a lot to the place. This summer it was awesome to see everyone, meet people I hadn’t met before, and then get to see some of them a few months later in NYC.

11. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My own. Occasionally The Roommate, in the mindfuckery sense. The jackass guy at The-Job-That-Failed.

12. What did you get really, really, really excited about??

The Denver roadtrip.

13. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Mean, Taylor Swift, May 2012. (You can take me down…with just one single blow. But you don’t know what you don’t know and someday….and all you’re ever gonna be is mean)

White Horse, Taylor Swift, November 2011- May 2012 – (I’m not a princess/This ain’t a fairytale/I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet lead her up the stairs.)

Ours, Taylor Swift – September 2012

(Yes, it was a Taylor Swift kind of year)

Beautiful Disaster – Kelly Clarkson

One of Us – Alison Krauss

The Longest Time, Billy Joel – September 2012 (Who knows how much further we’ll go on/Maybe I’ll be sorry when you’re gone/I’ll take my chances I forgot how nice romance is/I hadn’t been here for the longest time.)

Falling for the First Time – BNL

Who Says You Can’t Go Home? – Bon Jovi. (he did this at the benefit concert immediately following Hurricane Sandy and it was the perfect song choice. And, I find it doublely appropriate for this year, because after all the times I said I couldn’t, I will (I am) go home. ((Doesn’t matter where you are/doesn’t matter where you go/If it’s a million miles away or just a mile down the road/Take it in, take it with you when you go…who says you can’t go back/been all around the world and it’s a matter of fact/There’s only one place left I want to go/Who says you can’t go home?

Miami 2017 – Billy Joel (also played at the benefit concert immediately after Sandy, most appropriate song ever. Plus “They said that Queens could stay” Hint, hint to The Boyfriend about where in NYC we should reside in the future)

14. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?


15. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had socialized more

16. What do you wish you’d done less of?


17. How will you be spending Christmas?

Xmas morning will start with the most un-Jewish breakfast ever (Taylor Ham, eggs, pancakes, milk). Dinner will be the stereotypical jewish fare of chinese food.

18. Did you fall in love in 2012?

Yes. I have been doing this stupid survey since 2004, and this is the first time I’ve been able to answer this affirmatively.

19. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?


20. What was the best book you read?

Maphead (ken jennings)

21. What was your greatest musical discovery?

22. What did you want and get?

I suppose I wanted to go on the Denver road trip and made that happen? Does that count? What I did get this year was The Boyfriend and if you had asked me at this time last year if that was what I wanted, I would have looked at you in complete confusion (He knows all this) What the hopeless-romantic part of me has always wanted, I got.

23. What did you want and not get?

The Denver road trip was my last hope and it failed. I didn’t get The Roommate. And that is for the better, because, for several reasons. Still, I wanted him anyway, and it did hurt that he was able to spend that many days with me, with us seemingly so comfortable together, and sharing a bed for some of those nights, and never make a move on me. It made me feel undesirable and unwanted.

24. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 29. I went out to dinner with my parents and The Roommate

25. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Besides a job? I’m still very thankful to be exactly where I am now.

26. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

Pajama pants. Frayed jeans. The Roommate can confirm.

27. What kept you sane?

This is a trick question.

28) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

The local DC Weatherman Doug-something-or-other, Jim Cantore (Hurricane Sandy disaster-porn coverage FTW)

29. Who was the best new person you met?

Everyone I met at Gryllicon 2012 who I’d not previously met!

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012?

“You fall in love and it doesn’t work out and you think it’ll never happen again. But it does. Believe me it does, in the strangest of places, it does”

(Thanks to Pacey Witter and Dawson’s Creek for that wisdom. I’ve quoted it for years and never thought it would be relevant. But it is, in the strangest of places, it is.)

Sometimes the truth is like a second chance” – Dar Williams

You have to be willing to take a step in the dark before you’re ready. Because if you wait until you’re ready, you’ll never take that step. A lesson I was already familiar with, but the corollary was that I did have to be ready, just not in the way that I would expect.

That I’ll never be sorry for hoping – and that I will always be the type who exhausts every possible avenue and ounce of hope, until there’s nothing left. I did this years ago with HWSNBN – and that’s, indirectly, how I wound up in NYC. I did it with The Roommate. Until we pulled up in front of our place in NoVa on that Wednesday night, I hadn’t given up. And then, I did. And everything that’s followed would not have been possible without that.

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